This is one of a series of discussion posts based on questions from the AQ-10 autism test.
5. I know how to tell if someone listening to me is getting bored.
- Definitely Agree
- Slightly Agree
- Slightly Disagree
- Definitely Disagree
Is this statement true for you? Can you think of any examples? Is it an easy or difficult question for you to answer?
You can take the full AQ-10 test here. Note this test is intended as a quick screener, and cannot diagnose or rule out any condition on its own.
Easy. Was I talking? If yes, they’re probably bored.
But more seriously, one real way to tell is whether they are asking questions. Part of my job is being a presenter and if there are no questions, they arent listening. I still forget and dont notice, though.
So, do you go on too much about some niche topic that nobody else cares about? That stereotype really does not fit for me. My conversational style is to stay mostly quiet, try to look attentive, and daydream about the actually interesting things we could be talking about instead.
Can I actually spot boredom in real life conversations tho? You know, I think I can. And pretty often I’ll be observing a typical NT conversation, and one of them will be visibly bored out of their mind, and the other will be completely oblivious. Could it be that the trait here is not being bad at spotting boredom, but being aware that you have that difficulty?
I’m going Slightly Agree
I can tell if someone listening to me is getting bored when they directly tell me. If they try to change the topic or get mad at me, I wonder why they are rude or emotional. It will be days later that I will maybe realize it’s because they were bored. I have no clue based on facial expressions because the way I look when I’m interested in what someone is saying is apparently the way other people look when they are bored.
These days I mostly notice it quickly enough (and have realized that most of my nerding out about some topic close to my heart is boring to most people or sounds like a rambling random rant to them) but
it took me all the 40-some years of my life to figure it out. Other people apparently get the rule book of Normal BehaviourTM handed to them at birth.
No. Too much effort. I just assume they are, and talk only if they ask questions or if I believe something is important to say.
If I’ve been talking for more than a minute I assume they’re bored. I never know how to answer this.
I wouldn’t know if I don’t notice it. So if I don’t see it… huh.
I think I can tell, when I watch for hints like if the person is asking questions or adds something to the topic.
Somehow I tend to be overly cautious to not talk about things that bore people - I don’t want to be annoying. And sometimes I don’t want to spend the energy to talk about a topic of the other isn’t interested. So it is the opposite?
When I don’t pay close attention, when I feel the urge to tell something, to bring a point across or when I feel like talking about something, when it feels good to talk - then maybe.
What is hard for me, is to establish a connection on a personal level and to really get to know someone. Or find appropriate topics to speak about. But that is not within the frame of the question.
I can’t tell, so I just assume everyone is always bored of me all the time.
