Yeah they called me and I said no because I was gay and they started bawling.

Of course. I even know them. They’re me; dreaming about having a clone of myself.

And I’ve fucked it up every time.

Yup, lots of cis women fantasized about me back in the day. They wanted me to be a good husband and a good father. I had shied away from those relationships without even knowing it until much later in life, but for good reason: I’m a devoted wife with no kids whatsoever, and my wife is amazing, and I get to be gay with her.

Still though, sometimes I look back and wonder what would happen if I didn’t push those girls away in my youth so quickly: would I be a completely different and deeply unsatisfied person, as a trans person is wont to when denied their actual self, and given over to somehow in vitro fertilization for children;

or would I just have a few more names in my exes list?

It’s a series of memories I’ve traced quite a lot.

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God I hope not. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone