I meant they were cold, and they didn’t want to talk to the owner. Like, they were afraid of the conflict from saying “can you close the door?” so they didn’t. They just seethed about it until they went big aggro at the end.

Like, my mom is like that. Something will be bothering her but she won’t do anything about it, until she blows up. Like we’ll want dinner plans, talk about places, pick a place, she’ll drive us all there, sit down and eat, and then halfway through she’ll blow up with “I didn’t even want to go here!”. We’ll be like “why didn’t you say something earlier??”. She didn’t want to … I don’t know… have people argue with her? Feel judged? So she avoided that conflict (even as minor as saying she doesn’t want Thai food), but was still mad about it, and then eventually it comes out. Probably in a far more emotionally loaded way than it would have if she’d spoken up earlier. I guess in her head saying “I don’t want Thai” would be a big deal, when in reality it would’ve just been “oh, okay. How about XYZ?”

It’s not conflict avoidant like “avoid all conflict at all times”. It’s just … unhealthy.

This maybe isn’t that, but it’s the kind of behavior I thought of.