I don’t even know how to say this anymore without sounding like a damn broken record, but ever since Trump got elected in November, my mental health has been slipping. And lately it’s not just slipping. It’s more like I jumped off a cliff and freefalling toward jagged rocks.
I’ve done everything I’m supposed to. I stay active. I run 3 to 5 miles on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I exercise 3 to 5 days a week. I spend time outside. I touch grass. But none of it works anymore. It just doesn’t take the edge off like it used to.
I know doomscrolling makes it worse. I know the news and social media are built to keep people angry and scared. I try to pull away from it. But even when I do, I get hit from another angle. My girlfriend sends me political messages all day long, like she’s trying to convince me of something I already agree with. I’ve told her to give me some space, but it doesn’t stop. It’s like she needs me to be in constant panic mode with her, and I just can’t do it anymore.
Lately I find myself dreading conversation. I don’t even want to hear another human voice. I’m tired in a way I don’t know how to fix.
I thought retirement was going to bring me some peace. I’ve worked hard my whole life. I thought I had earned some quiet. Instead, the world keeps getting louder, and none of the things I used to do to cope are cutting it.
Is anybody else feeling this way?
Personally, I was in the same situation as you a few years ago. I was in complete despair, burned out by the sheer pressure of the ever changing political landscape, always slipping bit by bit closer to fascism. Thankfully, a friend pulled me out of it by making me engage with local political organizations. I joined a marxist group, read a lot on political theory and on history. Only then I realized that what I was fearing the most was the unpredictable. But it doesn’t have to be like that. The more I expanded my knowledge in terms of history, economics, and politics, the more I felt like I at least knew what to expect, that I was somewhat in control of my fear. Don’t get me wrong, I still dread the future, but all that I can say now is that at least I now somewhat know what the future brings. And while my outlook still stays bleak, having an understanding of what’s happening around you lets you have a more rational and hands down approach towards your fears. Also, engaging politically at a local level helps a lot too. You can make an impact and see things changing for the better at least in your direct vicinity.
I’d like to second getting involved with a group. I found a volunteer organization that’s independent of the government (legally, 100% volunteer-funded) that focuses on directly helping the lowest paid workers. I spend time learning, teaching, reaching out to people who either might need help or want to provide help, and doing miscellaneous things around the center to keep it going (like typing up paperwork.) Small things here and there add up, and even though the world is still burning, at the very least I can see the difference when somebody gets food for their family or their power returned after a shut-off. I feel a little bit better at the end of the day knowing I helped somebody.