Remember no politics! LGBT people’s lives can be different because the world isn’t LGBT inclusive. We all face challenges, but LGBT people can face particular ones… what are some of them?
Remember no politics! LGBT people’s lives can be different because the world isn’t LGBT inclusive. We all face challenges, but LGBT people can face particular ones… what are some of them?
There’s a lot I could list but I’m going to focus on 2.
The internalised homophonia/transphobia. We’re surrounded by messages telling us we’re wrong, not just outright anti LGBT stuff but avoidance, awkwardness etc. We don’t see many role models in the media, or sometimes in every day life. And that’s before we look at our immediate family and community response! We can end up with all sorts of twisted beliefs that there’s something wrong with us. It’s hard, and it causes some people to live lies, hate themselves or even harm themselves.
The constant outing of our status. Do we tell friends? Family? Work? If so when? It’s not just me it’s every girl I’ve ever dated, I could out all of them by telling a colleague! If we aren’t fully out people that know have power over us, and it can come out with just a look. It’s tiring and stressful.
You wanna hear some internalised transphobia? I’ve managed to talk myself down to a point where I don’t feel like I even belong in trans spaces. I’m just watching day after day pass me by, hoping each one will be the day I find the courage to get myself out. I’m not currently living in a place where I feel comfortable presenting fem, so I’m basically a man with boobs which I do my best to conceal with thick jumpers. My confidence is in tatters and I don’t feel like anyone is going to take me seriously because I don’t take myself seriously. I’ve gone from being a miserable, suicidal, but somehow on–the–whole successful man to a total failure of a woman. A disgrace to the trans community and to womanhood. I even feel bad after seeing my endocrinologist now. I’m like her least successful project.
It sort of goes on and on like that in my head. Every day. And fully aware of how stupid I’m being to boot.
And yes, the outing is a fucking nightmare because it feels like you’re gambling your happiness and self respect against the social capital you’ve built up under your closeted persona.
I am sorry you feel that way. You really dont owe any doctor a success story. You are beautiful just the way you are.
Can you move or at least make holidays somewhere where you can dress as you like, to regain a bit of confidence?
Thank you 💙 I do feel quite silly for thinking these things, especially when the solution to all of it is to just stop caring and live my life. Just go. Do it now. GO! Nope. Still nothing.
Unfortunately I have reached the final financial brick wall, however all I need to do is pick myself up, change the name atop my résumé, and hurl myself back into the workforce. Aaaaany day now.
I think you are too harsh to yourself. Its not just doing whatever. Doing these things change a lot for you and you do not know how people around will react. Its totally understandable that you are blocked doing all these things although it will most probably make you feel better. It needs a lot of courage i think. If at some point you do it you can be really proud of yourself! I hope this moment is sooner than you think and i hope you have or find supportive people in your area.