I asked if my bf still had feelings for me and he answered with “sure lol”.
he has been pretty dry lately but says he doesn’t know why. just earlier i talked to him but he gave short responses, though he may be busy idk.
“how are you?”
“Busy.”
“oh ok, whatcha doing?”
“Was busy. Nothing.”
“are you available to talk?”
“Ok.”
“what’s wrong, you seem pretty dry.”
“Nothing.”
Give him space for a day then sit down and have a talk to find out what’s on his mind. Something is bothering him - is it the relationship or something else?
Either way, the way he is responding here is disrespectful and he’s old enough to know better. It doesn’t take much to say “Hey babe, I need some space tonight to mentally unwind. I’ll hit you up tomorrow.” and his lack of either emotional intelligence or giving-a-single-damn is concerning.
Still, if it were me I’d focus on what’s causing his slump first, then once that it in the open (and if it’s nothing that would destroy the relationship), I’d have a discussion surrounding expectations for communication. In my past relationships we’d use “I need to burrito.” meaning that our emotional/mental energy is so low that we need to just wrap in blankets, eat snacks, and doom scroll for a few hours until we feel better. And the other partner gives space and picks up the slack until the slump is over.
A bit of give and take goes a long way, but communication is key.
we took a break for a few hours, he said his depression was getting to him. thanks so much! maybe he needs to burrito :))
I’m glad you were able to talk things out!