my bf alex (21m) always expects me (22m) to watch his movies, and his videos. and i do, and i watch all the tiktoks and instagram reels he sends me. but when i send him something, he doesn’t look at it and says “he’ll do it later” but doesn’t.

he also doesn’t like my interests at all and doesn’t want to do things with me, but wants me to do his interests like playing fortnite. i do not like fortnite at all.

  • виктор, он (viktor, he/him)@sh.itjust.worksOPEnglish
    2·
    24 hours ago

    thanks, it’s okay. nowadays he doesn’t even send tiktoks and i do, he just reads them but doesn’t respond or says “awesome”.

    idk, maybe he liked me better as a girl since i’m ftm but i am who i am.

    • forrgott@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
      3·
      23 hours ago

      Ah, yeah, that might affect the landscape a bit!

      Sorry to hear, though, it does sound like he’s dissociating from you. Possibly unintentionally?

      But anyway, I wish you luck. Most important issue is communication. Always is, but unfortunately lots of couples underestimate the importance. I hope you two can communicate honestly; and hope that helps you find a positive outcome for you both!

        • forrgott@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
          3·
          22 hours ago

          Well, yes. It’s a power game, believe it or not. Somewhat similar thing happened to me some years back with one of my “bros”. In my case, I realized I was always the one to reach out to him; there were a lot of other red flags that showed me our friendship was not as solid as I thought, so eventually I forced myself to not be the one to contact him. It took three months for him to text me. I knew then the friendship had died. 😔

            • forrgott@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
              2·
              22 hours ago

              Hmmm. Yeah, I’d recommend looking for ways to discuss the issue; be direct and blunt as you can, without malice though.

              Also, try not to say “you made me feel”; frame it instead as “I find myself feeling this” type language.

                • forrgott@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
                  2·
                  22 hours ago

                  Oof.

                  Well, at the least, he may still be coming to terms with how he feels about your transition. But, when I was twenty years younger, I was more self centered than I realized at the time. Society crams this idea down guys’ throats that it’s the only way to be a “man”.

                  Sometimes relationships don’t work out. We never want to see it, and unfortunately we often go into denial and insist on trying to force something after the “spark” has faded.

                  First, take a bit of time to self reflect; how do you really feel about all these things? About the relationship? It’ll take courage and emotional fortitude. And I’m not saying you need to give up! Just, take the time to be honest with yourself first, otherwise you can’t be honest with someone else.

                  Best of luck, and wish for you the courage and strength to find the right path!