I swear on my life I’m not trolling. And I don’t know if that word is offensive. Last I checked it was the actual medical term, but I think I’ve seen people take offense, so I’m sorry if that’s the case.

When I was young, maybe 12-14ish, I always felt I was kind of incomplete. For a while I sincerely wished I had been born with both sex characteristics. After a while I figured it was just a phase of adolescence and went on to live a happy cis life.

Since then I got my gene sequenced for one of those ancestry things, and they didn’t tell me I had Klinefelter’s or anything. But I always kind of wished deep down I had a penis, testes, vagina, womb, breasts, and a beard. Maybe I might just be some kind of transhumanist, cyber prosthetics seem cool.

But I can’t shake that feeling, like loss, like I’m supposed to be both. Is this a real thing? Is it valid or just natural human curiosity?

I’m fine being cis, I don’t think my spouse would find me as attractive if I were to get affirming surgery, if that was even an option. And life would be way more difficult for me being so conspicuous, especially since I live in the US right now. I’d stick out anywhere though. I could go my whole life without pulling on this string, but I feel compelled to.

Again, I swear I’m not trolling. I really feel this way.

  • Delta_V@lemmy.worldEnglish
    7·
    17 hours ago

    The strict gender binary is an arbitrary assignation of stereotypical behaviors loosely based on statistical averages. That is to say, its made up nonsense.

    So yes, you should believe the evidence of your own senses before the opinions of people who are still trapped inside that unhelpful and counterfactual social construct.

  • Ada@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    19·
    1 day ago

    The term you’re using isn’t a thing because it’s co-opting intersex identity, with a term that is often perceived as a slur by intersex folk. However penile preserving vaginogplasties are absolutely a thing. They’re not terribly common, but there are surgeons that offer it

      • Ada@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
        24·
        1 day ago

        No, because surgery doesn’t make you intersex. What you’re describing is a form of gender diversity, not an intersex condition.

        In any case, don’t get too hung up on the label. What you’re describing here is a form of gender diversity and expression that doesn’t fit within the neat binary system the world forces on us, and as a result, the language is imperfect, and ever changing.

        What you should be focusing on is the fact that what you’re describing isn’t this weird strange thing unique to you, but something that folk before you have also experienced

  • Amy@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
    5·
    21 hours ago

    Whenever this comes up on Reddit, people get pointed to the salmacian community, but that’s not a term I’ve heard anywhere else. Might be a slur, so be careful, but it might help you find people with similar desires if that’s what you want.