There is this girl I have been talking to for a time. I like her, and we also share some common ground. Recently she told how she is struggling very much with anxiety.
She’s worried people dislike her, worried about people only pretending to be her friend, people slowly losing interest. She is without exaggeration suicidal about it. More over I overheard her saying she hates people who are only interest in sex.
And here is the damned kicker, I am only interest in having sex with her. Normally when people talk about how they dislike people only interested in sex, I take that as my cue to leave. It’s totally fine they feel this way, but it also means we’re not compatible. However seeing how this girl is damn near suicidal about people pretending to like her, I’m not sure what to do.
If she’s not into one night stands that’s fine but that does mean I’m walking (I’m also not interested in any friendship). But I don’t want her to kill herself over it either.
Sounds to me like you need to first figure out what you want with her. Do you just want sex, or do you want more? You open this post saying you like her, you carry on showing us your concerns, but at the end you’re in just for sex- this is confusing. Not that it changes my life or my answer - literally, it’s on you to draw the line and figure out where you stand.
Once you figured out what you want, you will know how to proceed. The only reason you don’t know what to do now is because of that.
If I were in your shoes, I’d encourage her to get professional help, and I’d run away. I know, I wouldn’t be able to give her the support she needs, but, you may be different. Trying to change someone like that sounds like a very tough job and I know I’d be dragged down with them. She may not realize it, but going on about self pitying “people just want me for sex”, “nobody likes me”, etc, and going suicidal for it is often a manipulation tactic - it can be subconscious.
But the choice is yours. You just need to make up your mind about you and her.
I mean, she is nice and normally I’d strike up a conversation when I see her (but I’m going to stop doing that). But just because I’m only interested in having sex with her doesn’t mean I only view her in an object sort of way. I’m not saying you were implying this specifically, btw. But I hope this helps clear it up a little.
I am probably going to do this.