So, a while ago it came out that my uncle（who’s from outside the family and married in) cheated on my aunt (mom’s sister).
They’re still married. Honestly not sure what they’ll do since he is the one with the job and our family doesn’t have enough to support her and her children.
But I just don’t get it. I get falling out of love or even finding other people besides your spouse attractive, but cheating is just such a layered lasagna of shit.
1.You want to eat your cake and have it too. (There’s an entire community of people who cheat on their spouses called “cake eaters.”). I don’t understand what you get out of that though unless you’re just really lustful (and even I wouldn’t do that and I’m a lustful removed). If you want to break up/divorce that’s fine but you can’t just have emotional/physical relationships without changing anything. Which leads to point 2
2.How little fucking respect do you have for your wife and family? Because the thing is that youre denying your partner any autonomy in the relationship. You dont even respect them enough to even talk about it, or you don’t respect them enough to think they deserve to know about it or will ever find out.
I mean look, there been some stories I’ve heard where I understand, if the relationship is already dead. It still sucks but I can understand if it’s inevitable anyway. But otherwise i just can’t conceptualize how selfish and shit you have to be to do it.
And I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t so common. I mean it doesn’t happen in every relationship but it’s so common basically everyone is paranoid their partner is cheating on them. So I just really don’t get it
It is coercion, plain and simple. They start demonizing you because you’re not mono? That is coercion, no need to mince words. I don’t think there is anything wrong with monogamy, it’s just that both partners have to consent to it. It’s just that people who are polyam have been forced into the closet by circumstances and may not feel ready coming out yet.
If a closeted gay person has been pressured into a straight relationship, we feel sympathy, but then if a closeted polyam person has been pressured into a mono relationship, all of a sudden, they’re le big bad?
Make it make sense.
I guess I’m not familiar with a circumstance in which people are being demonized because they want to have an open relationship. I’m not doubting it occurs, but it’s not been an issue I’m familiar with. I’m used to seeing on a dating app, occurrences of people openly saying they’d rather do non-monogamous with a built-in option to choose that in the app. So it takes me by surprise a little.