For starters, I’m a 20-year-old man. My family is very Christian, so I am traditional and I have never met a gay family member. If it was, and I’m sure it was, it was never talked about.
Well, when I was 15, I met Greg, the same guy who made me realize I was bisexual when he introduced me to be my boyfriend.
Because of my internalized homophobia, this relationship is over. I have had and still have many mental problems that make me feel bad. I was mean to others, I pushed them away. I would get attached to them and then I would find out that they are bad.
Greg was one of my attachments. Now that I’m 20, I’m attached to him again, but I’ve been very rude to him, so I’m sure he doesn’t like me, even though he used to have feelings for me. I told him I hated him, I pushed him, shouted at him. Am I a bad person? :(
Eh, you don’t seem like a bad person. Bad people don’t feel bad for the bad things they do. Being gay or bi has nothing to do with this, so why bother mentioning the fact? If you genuinely feel that you have a mental disorder then you need to see a doctor and get recommendations for either medication or therapy to learn coping skills for your issues. Simple as that. You already made the first step by admitting that you may have a problem. Next step is to get the help you need to be able to obtain and sustain a happy, healthy mind. Good luck, buddy.
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