Totally reasonable. I wish every electronic device would brick itself if it heard you talking shit about it. People are too rude to toasters.

That’s perfect. It’s now my headcanon too.

*global security threat

Years from now you’ll remember the good times and the shitty days won’t be rembered often. Kids idolize their parents whether we’re worthy or not. My house is a mess too. We are all just getting by some days. Don’t beat yourself up. Try to make tomorrow a little better.

This happened to my parents in the 90s in Florida. They did a consultation with a lawyer and he told them to stop paying rent. So they did. Saved the money and used it to make a downpayment on their first house. I don’t know if it still applies but it’s probably worth a look.

You’ll have to decide for yourself. I recommend safe search: moderate.

Iistened to an episode of Conan Needs a Friend where he interviewed some bird guy who suggested that the bird that best resembles Conan is the Andean Cock of the Rock. Curiosity got the better of me so I searched for ‘Andean Cock of the Rock’. The first result was not a bird but was instead a poorly made deep fake of Dwayne Johnson breaking one off in a South American gentleman.

This headline would probably generate more clicks if they took out the words ‘candy giant’. Alternatively, it would generate even more clicks were it about an exceptionally large being made of candy.

This screws up the acronym I’m cooking up.

• Republicans
• Enable
• Pedophiles
• Undermine
• Basic
• Liberties
• Ignore
• Constitutional
• Accountability
• ??? I’d rather my acronym be discarded than those files, assuming the turds comply with the subpoena. What’s the penalty if they don’t?

I played through Metroid Dread finally about a month ago. Had it since it launched. When my wife was a kid, their rule was that they had to beat the game before you could get a new one. I rarely beat games as a kid so that seemed harsh to me.

Thank you for the link! I signed.

Is this something that can be reversed in a subsequent administration or something we will be stuck with if the rebublicants dont steal the next election?

We probably need an amendment to actually do redistricting fairly, but as long as one side is abusing the process, it doesn’t make sense for the other side to try to continue being ‘fair’. You’re just bringing a fart to a shit slinging contest.

If they “removed the power of the n-word,” then why did he say n-word instead of hitting that hard R like he does when he’s not on TV?

Honestly, this is why I started smoking. Didn’t stop until I had kids. Don’t smoke tobacco, kids. It’s whacko.

I’m crazy. Mark My Words. In 20 years, we’ll have so many microbes capable of consuming plastic people will be bitching about their packages not being able to effectively protect their goods from spoiling. The goldfish has spoken.

I like to think of them as artificial con men. They sound great. They have confidence and are complimentary and are very agreeable, but they will tell you what they think you want to hear. Whether or not what they are telling you is truthful isn’t even part of the equation.

The author makes a pretty compelling case for letting Phil go. Can you imagine the owners of a sports team continuing to pay a Manager millions of dollars a year despite them getting their asses kicked every time they suit up?

I used to feel the same way about dogs (and children) but you really do come to love them when you get used to them.

This sounds like it would be fraud, bribery, or embezzlement if one of us was caught doing it.