Can also recommend looking into local HEMA clubs as a step in that direction depending on your goals. Generally they tend to be queer friendly (if not queer themselves) and can help you learn some melee combat basics, which may be more relevant depending on your environment. I learned a lot from axe-and-shield fighting, even though it’s not directly applicable in most real world situations. But the silly Viking shit was fun enough to make me really love showing up and practicing, and it helped me get confident using an axe. So now I feel comfortable open carrying a utility axe for self-defense with a lot of plausible deniability. Also taught me how to deal with a riot shield :3

I was getting ready to come out to my sister in like late 2021, she had a really bad motorcycle accident and we were catching up and it seemed like the right time to tell her.

then she started talking about how a near death experience made her start re-evaluating some things, and then she came out to me and it was the fucking spiderman pointing meme. Both of us moved to WFH after covid hit so the timing makes sense, but it was such a wonderful coincidence.

“hey wanna come hang out this weekend?” “sorry but-”

omg I just wrote a comment about a student project with this mechanic, wishing to see it in a full production and then scrolled down and here you are telling me that game actually exists! Thank you 😁

I played a student project game a long time ago that based itself around this kind of mechanic. It was a horror game set entirely in the dark, and the only way of seeing was by echolocation - you’d click to send out a pulse, and you’d get brief ghostly glimmers of your environment. Importantly, you couldn’t directly see anything moving - you’d have to send out another ping if you wanted to see something in motion.

Given that monsters could hear your pings too, it was a wonderful little game of cat-and-mouse deduction trying to figure out where monsters were with as few pings as possible, remembering their patrol paths in the dark, and so on. Really cool and I’d love to see that mechanic in a full game production.

(edit: apparently that full game exists, it’s called Perception, and I’m absolutely giving it a shot!)

The thing is some games make the line really fuzzy and it’s hard to draw an exact line where it no longer is a game.

Pyre does have a whole RPG wizard basketball thing going on that I enjoyed, but wasn’t the reason I recommend the game. The more engaging part of the game was the visual novel stapled to it, which was affected by wizard basketball in cool and interesting ways, but inside each scene it’s largely non-interactive.

Disco Elysium also has some RPG mechanics going on, and there’s a city block for you to wander around, but the vast majority of the game is dialogue. It could largely be written as a more complicated choose-your-own-adventure book, but it’s so much stronger as a game.

Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood is almost entirely dialogue and telling people’s fortunes, with only brief moments of creating new tarot cards to break up the dialogue. Despite this, the fortune-telling aspect of the game has made it one of the most interesting games I’ve played in a bit.

There’s any number of “walking simulators” that this debate comes up around and I counter that with the fact that Outer Wilds built off the back of that formula to create something unquestionably a game, but built off of gameplay loops largely based around traversal and finding new bits of lore to unlock progression.

These were all successfully marketed to gamers as video games. My hot take is that they’re all games, but with a form of gameplay that some may find too simple for their liking and that’s ok. And the semantic debate over what’s a game and what isn’t is just feels vibes based sometimes.

The Internet has provided us a wealth of information. In fact… maybe too much information, with questionable veracity. Social media has provided viral ways of spreading this information to people finding a truth that fits their existing beliefs, not necessarily finding the truth from an objective set of facts.

This isn’t just about Trump, the GOP, or even just fascism. It’s a complete breakdown of our trust in shared reality. It’s an indication that humans are not as smart as we think about applying technology we’ve invented, or maybe not as capable as we think about connecting with as many people as the internet allows us to.

it’s true and honestly really inconvenient. I keep trying to kiss my gf but we’re always interrupted by tornado sirens. How are we supposed to groom any kids into our satanic sex cult under these conditions??

I have a couple answers to this that might be uncommon, personal, and wouldn’t have helped me in the early stages, but were the final nails in the coffin of this doubt for me and I haven’t ever worried about it since.

The first came a couple months after coming out. I noticed that I had already changed a lot, almost entirely mental. I couldn’t describe exactly how, but it felt like I really had done myself a favor and burned the bridges I needed to in order to take control of my life. At that point, I started to figure - well, if this whole being-a-girl thing doesn’t work out, who’s to say I can’t transition again? I couldn’t imagine going back to who I was before - I knew that if I was going to ever identify as masculine again, it’d be a retransition, not a detransition. And tbh if that ever happens I very much look forward to what new roads lie in front of me. It’s nothing to be afraid of - everyone I fell out with in the process of coming out was no real friend of mine anyway. And I know the people in my life now would have my back.

The second was that I developed pretty severe fibromyalgia after some time on HRT. I think I had it to a low grade before? But it definitely worsened to a disabling degree after about a year on hormones. It’s not a very well understood condition (and as a diagnosis of exclusion it’s probably not just one condition) but it’s a lot more common in women, which maybe implies it’s just part of how my body works on estrogen. So I had a choice to make - would I rather go off estrogen if it’d help with the pain? And the answer was a surprisingly immediate and definitive “hell fucking no”. Even with a new disability life was so much better. That’s the point I knew it was the right choice and I’ve never doubted it since.

I guess the way I’d tie this up is - it took a long while after I started giving it a go to be 100% assured I’d made the right decision. It is a leap of faith you will have to make without a guarantee - that said, if you’re thinking about it to this level your odds are probably extremely high. And you’ll know pretty quick if things like HRT are for you or not.

You might also benefit from nonbinary identity in the meantime to give yourself the space to explore any and all options. I landed on identifying as nonbinary but broadly transfemme - you can figure out the more specific parts of your identity later, just figure out what you want to explore in the present and you’ll get there with some time!

For real. The human body’s ability to repair itself and adapt is astounding and scars represent how immense injury can become distant with time. they also accentuate curves quite well :>

as a masochist I forget people feel bad about their scars, given how much joy I get out of leaning into mine. They’re badass no matter what they’re from, and personally I get so much euphoria out of the fact that my body reflects how much shit I’ve persisted through just to be alive and how much pain I can take. kind of like a tattoo, and tbh might work em into one at some point.

my sister had a pretty nasty motorcycle accident and had to get her elbow rebuilt. it rotates in a pretty different place and there’s all sorts of scars around where the asphalt tore her up. and every time I see her in her short sleeved Ripley-ass jumpsuits she likes I’m like “YEAA THAT’S MY CYBORG SIS”

I know it’s never as easy as “but they’re hot tho!!”, not here to dismiss the feelings but… they’re hot tho!!

IIIIT’S LIKE RAAAAIIIIIIIIIN ON YA WEDDING DAYYYY

It’s funny cause to me it’s always meant a third entirely different thing! To me small talk is just starting from a basic place to feel each other out a bit, bringing up mundane things and simple questions to find topics we could drill further into.

“How was your day” to a partner would be small talk, even though I care about what they’re saying - I’m just asking so they can bring up something to talk about. “Weather’s been shit lately” to a stranger is small talk, but the ensuing story about how they had to rush to work late in the rain would not be.

Given it means three different things to three random people, it’s almost like “small talk” actually covers a broad set of social purposes and people who “aren’t into it” might actually be missing a lot 😝

I’m gonna try and level the same benefit of the doubt that I wish people would give us: this would be a matter between a patient, their community, and their health providers, and if transition would in fact improve someone’s quality of life to the extent that gender transition does, I wouldn’t oppose it. This is the same conclusion I came to about transabled identities once I thought about it for a while.

I’m skeptical of it in concept, but it’s not really my place to cast judgement as someone not familiar with the experience (also white) and I’m sure someone willing to come out as transracial is going to hear a lot of arguments against their existence already. they probably wouldn’t need one more from me.

Tbh, I’d honestly just be really interested to talk to them about it to the extent they’d be willing. I haven’t heard from anyone I can trust is being earnest and genuine about it but I won’t assume they can’t possibly be out there. I can’t think of a source of dysphoria for transracial people that wouldn’t be steeped in false racial hierarchies dreamed up by white people, but just maaaayyyyybe someone out there has a different experience. No way to know without hearing from em directly I guess is my point.

Excellent answer and I’ll also jump off this to say this applies to marginalized groups just as much as anyone else, in a way I see a lot of people forget all about. Some percentage of marginalized people, through being in the right place and/or putting themselves there, do experience upward mobility through capitalism and therefore identify with it.

People forget that queer conservatives exist, but think about a gay couple with a lot of wealth, living a fairly standard nuclear family existence with an adopted kid or two, integrated into a society that probably still doesn’t fully trust them but sees enough signifiers of “normality” that they’re willing to let it slide. Which side of the political divide benefits them the most to align with? And what ideological principles will they come to internalize in the long term? Might they come to see themselves as somehow different or better than others in their marginalized community?

I’m getting tired of the fluff pieces expressing shock at the fact that some % of black voters are conservative, clutching their pearls at the thought of that number increasing, and speculating about black churches and “social conservatism.” While also completely disregarding the fact that black voters have always leaned left yet are also affected by some of the same political shifts that every other demographic is. Our first loyalty is generally to our class.

Climate Change Any% (Cheats Enabled) Speedrun [WR]

<3

furries get a lot of psychological safety out of embracing animalistic traits in all contexts. Speech is extremely difficult for me and being able to “awooo arf x3 wuf bark!” my way through normal day to day conversations with partners is such an inexplicable relief that I hope people with a passing understanding of neurodivergence can empathize.

For as beneficial as these things are in normal day to day life, it would in fact be far weirder if it didn’t extend to the bedroom too. Like play-gnawing a partner to say “I love you” and then getting to the bed with them and just saying “ok for this one thing in particular I am a normal human who doesn’t howl!!!”

That would be fucking weird right?

I’m gonna copy another comment I made on this post since it’s the best thing I think I can say about it. But just know I once felt as you do and probably still would if my sister wasn’t a furry.

I think the kink and fursuit parts are what most people understand about furries because that’s the most signal boosted and bizarre parts about it. However, furries often have other things that really attach them to it, and the kink is a further expression of that.

For a lot of people, neurodivergence is a core feature. I struggle with speech a lot. I’m learning ASL but few people speak it. The flexibility to communicate in howls, barks and yips on occasion is extremely helpful. The furry community is full of people who just get this and will treat me very normally when I’m nonverbal. The scared kid in me still expects to be hit for disobedience, so it’s incredibly healing.

Some folks who like fursuits like them because they present a barrier and literal mask that helps them feel safe and protected from bad sensory experiences in public. Some attach themselves into a fursona character and find a way to express parts of themselves they couldn’t elsewhere. My sister describes her fursona as a manifestation of her inner child unburdened by abuse, and made the character female years before she worked out she was trans.

When you consider how much kink and trauma go hand in hand, how much furries lean on their identity as a way to feel safe engaging with others, and how much genuine joy people find in their fursona, the kink makes a whole lot more sense. It’s less about being attracted to “rejected Disney mascots” specifically as it is about the comfort and safety a rejected Disney mascot persona can bring to people who need it. For as much as it’s helpful in the outside world, it would in fact be weirder for none of that to come into the bedroom too.