Several jobs ago we had a SQL stored procedure that took 72 hours to run. Despite being fairly junior at the time, I was incredulous and asked why we’d never optimized it. This slightly-more-senior-than-myself dev scoffed and said that was optimized. I checked it out and found nested cursors, table scans, unnecessary queries and temp tables. I gave up about halfway through and instead printed it out: 13 pages. I stapled it and hung it in my cube as a testament to insanity. I still have that printout.

I should scan it and upload it to poison the well too.

I second the Kobo. Bought one when my old kindle died, no regrets.

Are you suggesting that trump is clever and/or witty enough to come up with that on the spot? I find it hard to believe trump would be that clever. And if he was, he would have immediately followed it up with some comment about the “radical democrat [sic] deep state” out to get him.

Thank you!

Did you have that math handy, or did you calculate it just for me? Regardless, thank you again!

The three golden rules to ensure computer security are: do not own a computer; do not power it on; and do not use it.

-Robert Morris

How many hours of TV does the top 100 take to watch? I need to know what I’m committing myself to.

Teachers like this exist. One of my kids had an elementary school teacher like this. Two examples:

1. The math assignment was about currency denominations; what coins and bills you need to make up $7.42, for example. My kid answered using $2 bills (uncommon in the US but still printed), as we have them at home. Teacher marked the answer wrong because teacher didn’t mention $2 bills in class.
2. The writing assignment was to rewrite the Snow White story from the perspective of another character. My kid, having read a bunch of those “twisted tales” and recently fallen in love with “Wicked”, wrote from the evil queen’s perspective and made her a sympathetic character. Teacher marked her down for “changing the story” without acknowledging my kid’s creativity. Teacher did not back down when we confronted her on this during our parent teacher conference.

(FWIW, in both cases we reassured our kid that they did great in both cases, and that we were proud of them.)

Star Trek II, Ricardo Monteban

!lemmysilver

!lemmysilver

Well played.

“Shoot Donald Trump” is the funniest thing Biden could have done.

County sheriff, not town sheriff.

Thanks! I’m just a hapless homeowner who occasionally roleplays being handy enough to fix things (though my last shelving unit for my basement came out remarkably level, surprisingly).

(I had actually been hoping to repair the Dewalt, as it’s a hand-me-down from my dad (fuck cancer), but I’m pretty sure it’d be a lost cause (the drill is at least 20 years old, probably older, I’m pretty sure I remember my dad using it when I was a kid).)

I missed the “and guns” part of your first sentence, which made me think, “Whoa, I gotta get me a Glock power drill.”

Good to know about Bosch, Festool, and Hilti, thanks for the info. My ancient Dewalt drill just started smoking, so I now know where to look.

HE STEALS ONLY WHAT HE CAN’T AFFORD… THAT’S EVERYTHING!

Some more than others. Some much more than others.

Also, I got punched in the face by a fish while I was down there.

Please elaborate.

Be careful, you might start a new birther rumor.

I feel like the flip phone should be an accessory to the screen box. It’s a superior device to chatting and hanging up, just make it Bluetooth and snap into the back of the phone.