My kids say “tomorrow after that day” instead of the day after tomorrow; my oldest came up with it as a toddler and it just stuck.

When I was working at a day care decades ago I didn’t want to read a kid’s book that was partially in Spanish, because I didn’t want to fuck up the pronunciation in front of actual Spanish speaking kids.

I’ll never live that racist reputation down.

Mona and Nachos… Can confirm.

I used to work at a zoo. When you introduce a new animal to an exhibit, you soap the window so they don’t hurt themselves in their confusion. Just… Take a bar of soap and fog up the window with it.

Probably smells a lot better too.