Don’t worry, I’m always high. I also don’t have a wife.

Can confirm, I only beat my wife when I’m not high

That’s not true. He worked real hard to take 1 stroke off his game. You should have seen his short game before the presidency.

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Ya this headline reads as a Reno 911 episode

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Ya that’s why I wrote a little above min. I had a buddy that pushed buggies at costco in high school and he was usually a buck or 2 above min. The meat slicers easily make $20+ because they have to work with high cost products but for something low skill like shredding chicken, they can give some 16 year old a couple forks and tell them not to hurt themselves

The costcos I’ve been to always had windowed processing areas right by the deli, you can watch the gnomes slicing up the steaks, putting together salads, etc. I’ve never personally seen them pull the chicken because these bags weren’t available when I used to go but I don’t think it would be crazy to think they pay some kids a little above minimum wage to shred some chicken

You can’t just mark a whole train NSFW

This is one of those convenience/made for people with limited dexterity kinda things on top of what one would guess is them using the unsold rotisserie chickens. If you have the time and body then absolutely buy the whole bird to pull it yourself.

I don’t have a costco in my city anymore but the walmarts around me throw their rotisserie chickens on 50% off after 7 so I can usually get one for $4. I quarter them right when I get home, freeze the carcass for broth and go to town on a dark quarter while it’s fresh. One of the breasts usually end up being pulled or sliced and frozen.

People generally like food and grieving people don’t always have the energy to cook, is there anything you make well? Lasagna? Soup? Mac n cheese?

Technically you can only be a cheater if you are a “relationshipper”, otherwise they’re just hoeing

But yes, I feel the hate

I had an ex suddenly get into fps games. Turned out she was a whore and her fuck mate got her into playing fps. She left me then cheated on the new guy with his friend so they broke up she and moved to the other side of the country with the ex’s friend. She then cheated on that guy that moved with her with 2 other guys. Then she moved cross country again and now I’m pretty sure she’s just fucking anything that moves.

Good times good times

Reminds me of that time I ordered skunk ceviche with fresh lawn clippings and they had the audacity to serve me a medium rare mole rat tenderloin with a side of marinated pebbles

Gotta cut him some slack for the brain injuries and mental health issues though, at least he didn’t pull a bourbon street.

Her face reads as anything from listening to me explain the original 151 pokemon to sitting on a bus thinking about what to make for dinner

I could tell you that’s Alabama but my problem is I would have no idea that face was supposed to mean something, it looks like a blank stare to me

Thank you mister president. I really want to thank you for what you’ve done for social media, politics, reality tv, MaCaulay Culkin, Chik-Fil-A, McDonald’s, diapers, Elongated Muskrats, (REDACTED), (REDACTED), (REDACTED), and the rest of you know whats up (REDACTED)

(END OF TRANSMISSION)

The guy I had told me to pull myself up by the bootstraps and I ended up finding $20 mil in my sock