I feel you man and I’ve been there myself. It fucking sucks. Whenever mine got bad I always noticed that the more work I missed the harder it was to go back to work. It’s a viscious cycle. And it makes the prospect of going to work feel like trying to drag yourself through a pile of broken glass. Just hang in there and muddle through. Depending on how long ago you started your meds and what you’re on they could be still ramping up. It can take months for some meds to fully stabilize. The only thing you can do is hang in there and do whatever you can when you can.
That’s basically it. They’re just there just in case they’re needed and many people actually can’t stand working like that. There are a ton of jobs where someone only needs to be there just so any potential work gets done right away. But it’s shocking how few people actually enjoy getting paid to do nothing most of the time. It definitely takes a certain mindset.
I work a similar job right now. I’m support in a factory. I show up to work with the expectation that I’ll only actually be working for maybe about 20-30% of my shift. If a machine needs attention or a production coworker has a question then I deal with it, otherwise I read a book. Whenever one of our production workers gets promoted to support, it always takes them months to get used to not working. They always start out trying to take literally every call just to have work to do and nervously twiddling their thumbs while staring into space at their desk when they don’t. Eventually they start pulling out their phone but they always look so guilty about it and hide it as soon as a boss walks by. And these are internal hires who even have the advantage of having personally watched me fucking around on my phone sending memes to my boss all day at work every day without issue. We actually just lost an external hire maintenance guy because he was constantly woried that he wasn’t doing enough work and was going to get fired.