Based on my experience with sexual assault victims (and we all know far too many), I see Elmer crying, traumatized, cut off from support (true for any victim, but especially so for cis men and transgender people), having to deal with a screwed up sense of self worth, and having to worry about if Porky has any STDs. Small mercy that he doesn’t have to worry about getting pregnant, especially in the current political climate in the US.
See?
I do not.
I see somebody that’s bringing up traumatic experiences that a large portion of the population has experienced and saying it can be funny regardless of him lambasting rape culture in the same breath. “Sorry that happened to you, Alex, that’s awful, how it changes how people view you is awful, but you have to admit it’s a little funny if you think about it.” It’s not the logic that you have to follow, it’s the empathy.
Love everything about your sentiment here. Its not okay.
Unrelated to your sentiment, but I think most trans folk are a lot more comfortable being referred to as “transgender” rather than “transgendered”, and the former is considered the correct term, by my understanding. Data point of one, but I get big alarm bells when someone says “transgendered”, and since I’ve seen you around clearly not being transphobic, I thought it perhaps worth mentioning. Have a nice day!
Thanks for giving me some room to explore this a bit.
Humor is such an interesting topic that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. I giggle at the dumbest things but also find jokes requiring specialized knowledge funny, too.
Two distinctions I’d make when it comes to what I find “acceptable”: using humor to cope with ones own trauma vs humor about other people’s trauma and what the audience is.
One thing that sticks in my head as an example is Lindsay Ellis’s rap; it may have been cathartic for her to have made it, but it’s not something that I’d encourage for public exhibition (regardless of her intent to publish it or not or all the rest of the drama surrounding it). Disempowering trauma through absurdity is very different than making light of a serious topic that too many people experience.
Audience: people are mind numbingly dumb. For every person that notices Carlin’s commentary on rape culture, there’s a dozen people that think a celebrity saying rape jokes are funny means they can make them and everybody else just doesn’t get it, etc. That’s the usual context I see Carlin referenced in, defending what he was saying “Doesn’t seem right.”
I’d say humor to cope with trauma is best reserved for the people you would also feel safe having a serious conversation about it with, taking into account their boundaries as well. That almost never includes the general public.
Based on my experience with sexual assault victims (and we all know far too many), I see Elmer crying, traumatized, cut off from support (true for any victim, but especially so for cis men and transgender people), having to deal with a screwed up sense of self worth, and having to worry about if Porky has any STDs. Small mercy that he doesn’t have to worry about getting pregnant, especially in the current political climate in the US.
I do not.
I see somebody that’s bringing up traumatic experiences that a large portion of the population has experienced and saying it can be funny regardless of him lambasting rape culture in the same breath. “Sorry that happened to you, Alex, that’s awful, how it changes how people view you is awful, but you have to admit it’s a little funny if you think about it.” It’s not the logic that you have to follow, it’s the empathy.
Love everything about your sentiment here. Its not okay.
Unrelated to your sentiment, but I think most trans folk are a lot more comfortable being referred to as “transgender” rather than “transgendered”, and the former is considered the correct term, by my understanding. Data point of one, but I get big alarm bells when someone says “transgendered”, and since I’ve seen you around clearly not being transphobic, I thought it perhaps worth mentioning. Have a nice day!
Thanks! Fixed.
I think the general empathy is a very valid point you’re making. I’ll have to think about that.
I have trouble seeing it right now, but I’ll think about it.
Out of curiosity: What humour do you use to cope with traumatic experiences? Do you think humour is even a good way?
Thanks for giving me some room to explore this a bit.
Humor is such an interesting topic that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. I giggle at the dumbest things but also find jokes requiring specialized knowledge funny, too.
Two distinctions I’d make when it comes to what I find “acceptable”: using humor to cope with ones own trauma vs humor about other people’s trauma and what the audience is.
One thing that sticks in my head as an example is Lindsay Ellis’s rap; it may have been cathartic for her to have made it, but it’s not something that I’d encourage for public exhibition (regardless of her intent to publish it or not or all the rest of the drama surrounding it). Disempowering trauma through absurdity is very different than making light of a serious topic that too many people experience.
Audience: people are mind numbingly dumb. For every person that notices Carlin’s commentary on rape culture, there’s a dozen people that think a celebrity saying rape jokes are funny means they can make them and everybody else just doesn’t get it, etc. That’s the usual context I see Carlin referenced in, defending what he was saying “Doesn’t seem right.”
I’d say humor to cope with trauma is best reserved for the people you would also feel safe having a serious conversation about it with, taking into account their boundaries as well. That almost never includes the general public.