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etchif posts:
I think when you apply to be the guy that designs university websites you have to verify that you have never studied web design

arahir replies:
wait okay wait here’s a story about how STAY WITH ME to format your thesis at my college. STAY WITH ME. please stay with me. stay with me.
so you finish your thesis which you thought was stressful. now you have to make sure it is FORMATTED correctly which is easy. where are the instructions for how to format it correctly? so glad you asked! they are stored in the INFORMATION portion of an assignment in a closed canvas course you were asked to complete the year before. the course is not available during formatting so you just have to have a friend who copy and pasted the entire canvas course into a pdf! got that? done? great! go format your thesis!
STAY WITH ME.
now that’s out of the way you just need to PROVE it’s formatted correctly by having someone official check it. when? well you make an appointment of course. now? no you have to make it starting at 9am two weeks before finals. everyone at the college will try to register to do this at the same time so you’re advised to set an alarm and make your appointment as close to 9am that day as possible. alarm all set? great let’s go!
STAY WITH ME.
it’s 9am on the chosen day. now this is not for your formatting. this is for SCHEDULING an APPOINTMENT for someone to check your formatting. you have the link ready, right? to take you to the scheduling? get ready.
having clicked the link, you have to follow these instructions as fast as possible at the same time every other graduate student is trying to do the same thing. your ability to graduate on time hinges on this. not all will be successful. are these instructions written anywhere? no, so hold on to your hat and:
click the link and log in verify yourself wait for the page to load you are now staring at what looks like a bank website from 2005. there are options for employee resources and nothing else but that’s okay go to “switch page view” in the top corner of the nightmare you are looking at and switch from teacher to student don’t read or touch anything. expand the sidebar and click INFORMATION scroll three pages down - don’t read anything - until you get to the blue “need help?” link and click that go to the blank drop down menu that has appeared scroll down 78 options past sections like "registrar"and “billing” until you get to the “graduate aid” section. scroll past the option that say thesis advising you dumb bitch. select the alluring and enigmatic “CULMINATING EXPERIENCE” instead. a new drop down menu appears. this time there are only three options. unfortunately one is advising, one is graduation, and one is “T/D/P” guess which one you need. advising? no. what, you didn’t know it was called T/D/P? 🫵😂 “search times” will appear but don’t do that. it breaks the page if you do that. click on the little calendar instead and select a day. you can now make an appointment to have your formatting checked. please note this is not the same as formatting your thesis, submitting it, or having it approved.
thank you for staying with me

arahir:
[an image of tumblr tags reading: “wait what does T/D/P stand for?”]
it stands for “thesis / dissertation / project” as we all know, of course.

[end of transcript]

  • Zier@fedia.io
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    28 days ago

    1000 upvotes for this. Academia is so fucking stupid. And people pay big money to be abused by these institutions.