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Since we decided a few weeks ago to adopt the leaf as legal tender, we have, of course, all become immensely rich.
But we have also, run into a small inflation problem on account of the high level of leaf availability, which means that, I gather, the current going rate has something like three deciduous forests buying one ship’s peanut. So in order to obviate this problem, and effectively revalue the leaf, we are about to embark on a massive defoliation campaign, and. . .er, burn down all the forests. I think you’ll all agree that’s a sensible move under the circumstances.
It’s either the total destruction of all the worlds forests, OR I take a huge financial hit with my unimaginably terrible investment into leaves as currency.
As you can see, by this logic it is … um … better for the economy … that we destroy all the world’s forests.
“Sir, we must burn down the world’s forests and destroy everyone’s economic assets.”
“Are you sure that this is the way to go about solving inflation?”
“Inflation?”
This post is gold.
This comment is autumn leaves.
So we rake it up into the trash bag, right?
I can’t even
Can’t even what? Don’t leave me hanging, fam!
I can
Someone shittily draw a Lemmy leaf in MS paint so we can all award it to the leafiest of comments
But hear me out… What if…
… You just made a pic of them, slap 'em in a wallet and call it an nft.
Instantly worth 1000 bucks because I say so.
only if you find someone who wants to buy it
Found the Golgafrinchan
Ya know, it probably would be a lot easier to sanitize all the telephones if it’s just basic dirt from leaves and not trace cocaine everywhere
I think I really found my people on Lemmy.
We need a community that’s just sarcastic stuff like this.
First impression: WTF are autism leaves?
The economist is lying
They told me I would never make any money as a jazz musician.
“Change the currency to oak leaves Greenspan!”
(extremely dated reference)
I mean, if gold is massively devalued. Don’t think it’d ever be worth less than leaves, but given its actual useful properties (as opposed to its arbitrary use as a currency) gold’s value should be a lot lower than it is.
Imagine brushing all these gold leaves onto a pile, then with a shovel disposing of those leaves.
Well there was a maple syrup heist where $18 million worth of syrup was stolen.
Do you have any idea how many maple leaves go into just one bottle of maple syrup?
Because I sure as hell don’t.
If you want an actual answer, it’s not the leaves that go in but the sap inside the tree, and it’s a 40 to 1 ratio of sap to syrup.
A bottle will need about 30 litres (8 gallons) of sap.
Yeah, I know.
I mean I make compost, so dead leaves are a commodity I’m highly looking for to aquire.
