THC, caffeine, and more caffeine

THC nicotine caffeine

Set reasonable goals they are easier to accomplish

Honestly? Forty years of practice, anxiety spikes, external motivations positive and negative, fugue states… and I’m still barely getting by. I just paid $600 of late fees because I forgot to file my state income tax ten years ago. I’m sure I did them when I did my federal, I just… never sent it in? I guess???

Shame External motivation!
A friend stopped by yesterday and i havent cleaned so fast in such a long time. lmao
Im also preparing to invite a woman into my life and i am not able to do so if I’m a disaster. So i still have more cleaning to do but I’ve made progress!

Therapy? I react badly to all ADHD medications so I am not medicated for it. What has helped me the most is working through things with a therapist who also helped me with implementing coping mechanisms. Things like pomodoro method (this got me through college!), organizers at “drop spots,” and learning how to self talk made a huge difference for me. It is not impossible to do well without meds…it is just harder.

I recently had to stop taking my vyvanse due to some bad side effects and holy shit I forgot how bad this was

FYI you are probably also dealing with withdrawal in addition to being unmedicated. Getting off of meds after having been on them is a very different experience from never having been medicated.

Poorly. I’m unmedicated and trying to get on meds.

I have been raw dogging life without meds almost my entire life. There was a 2 year period in high school I did speed, and then when I went to community college my wife shared her meds with me. The other 40ish years have taught me how to deal.

I have alarms for everything throughout my day. I have a routine. I have specific places to put certain things. When I deviate I am screwed.

I run on auto pilot most of the time. I can’t forget something I didn’t remember to do to begin with. Double, triple, and quadruple check. The double check to be sure and the tripe and quadruple check because I forgot I’ve already double-checked.

Chaining dozens of coping methods together helps a little bit, including:

• strictly working with lists. When I do it and it’s not on the list & checked off, it doesn’t count as done. What’s not on the list doesn’t get done
• implementation intention: Since my brain refuses “must do now” situations, use a trigger like: “If it’s not done by 8 p.m., work on it with a stopwatch for 15 minutes”
• for the list, turn everything into a module. Instead of “do the kitchen”, have subitems like “collect all garbage”, “sort by food / non-food”, “clean surface 1/2/3/floor”. For studying & work, a module is always 25 or 50 minutes of full focus, no distractions. When I have to get up to get water or pee, it counts as failed and is not checked off

Yay, life on hard mode.

Routine, write down EVERYTHING (because anything verbal doesn’t register for me), and struggle through it. I’ve been trying for years to find the right medication, I don’t even know the name of the one I just had to stop due to severe insomnia and dizzy spells. Which has been the theme for every single one where the dizzy spells are so bad, it’s no better than my scatterbrained ADHD brain. Yes, even Vyvanse made me very dizzy; I was so hopeful for that one…

As someone who can’t medicate my ADHD, even with caffeine because they all either don’t help or interfere with my panic disorder which is much, much more debilitating, it is… Not great, but I’ve mostly found a lifestyle that works for me. I’ve found careers that I can handle. Maintaining a household alone is… Very rough under the circumstances but it is what it is.

All that said, HIGHLY recommend staying active enough that you are tired at the end of the day and having an alarm clock with a bright light on it, or a dawn simulation ideally with smart lighting, a special alarm clock, or a diy solution with a full spectrum lamp and an aquarium timer (guess which one I did during college). Maintaining a good schedule and waking up in the AM feeling at least reasonably well rested is paramount, everything else goes to hell if that isn’t maintained, and if I’m not physically active during the day, no amount of melatonin will get me to sleep within a routine.