As a mother, I often face unrealistic expectations and judgments from others regarding my parenting choices. However, there is one thing I absolutely refuse to worry about: matching my kids’ socks. I don’t give a sock, and you shouldn’t either.

I am well aware that some people may view mismatched socks as sloppy or lazy. Well, guess what? Keep your opinions to yourself, Karen. I don’t criticize your crippling Xanax addiction or your outdated Capri pants. Where’s the flood, Karen?

Just the other day, a father at preschool drop-off had the audacity to comment on my child’s socks. Oh, wow, Mr. Sock Gestapo, congratulations on your heroic mission to police the world of socks. Maybe you should report me to the Sock Police for a “sock wellness check.” And while you’re at it, go home to your wife, Kyle, instead of cheating on her.

Read the rest of this satire news article and more at TattletaleTimes.com

  • Got_Bent@lemmy.worldEnglish
    26·
    4 个月前

    My daughter intentionally had weird socks that she would wear mismatched all through middle school.

    It never occurred to me that this should be considered anything other than a preteen kid expressing herself in a harmless way.

    Unfortunately, those mismatched socks led her into a spiral of drugs, alcohol, prostitution, grand theft, larceny, homosexuality, and general mischief.

    If only I had paid more attention and been a more dedicated parent of podiatric fashion responsibility.

    (The part above the line is true. The part below the line is Internet outrage cosplay)

    • Tattletale Times@lemmy.worldOPMEnglish
      6·
      4 个月前

      Unfortunately, those mismatched socks led her into a spiral of drugs, alcohol, prostitution, grand theft, larceny, homosexuality, and general mischief.

      I swear i heard this line in DARE but referring to marijuana

      podiatric fashion responsibility

      that’s great, i should add this to the article somewhere

      • Got_Bent@lemmy.worldEnglish
        2·
        4 个月前

        I’ll expect my usual commission for the contribution - an odd number of mismatched socks.

  • tetrachromacy@lemmy.worldEnglish
    23·
    4 个月前

    Can’t wear mismatched socks if you buy 80 pairs of the same sock. Just grab two from the clean bin and you’re ready to face the day.

    Walking round the house? White ankle socks.

    Birthday party? White ankle socks.

    Your niece’s christening? White ankle socks.

    Day at the office? Wouldn’t you know it, white ankle socks.

    Trip to Canada? Couple pairs of white ankle socks with extra as backup.

    Going to the beach? I got flip flops for that.

  • Schal330@lemmy.worldEnglish
    15·
    4 个月前

    I can wear mismatched socks, but they need to be from the same “set.”

    If I buy a pack of six with each pair having different colours, it’s fine to mix those. Mixing a cotton sock with a bamboo sock would not be acceptable for me. Full length sock with an ankle sock would also not be acceptable.

    • candybrie@lemmy.worldEnglish
      3·
      4 个月前

      I’m with you. I also always get rid of a sock if it has a hole in it. So there’s a lot of non-color matching but same type pairs. My husband refuses to fold my socks because it’s too “complicated.”

    • BeardedGingerWonder@feddit.ukEnglish
      2·
      4 个月前

      I literally could not give a flying fuck if my socks match, there are few activities that I regularly engage in I find as asinine as pairing socks. I do, however, get utterly bored of being told my socks don’t match, so I conform.

  • peopleproblems@lemmy.worldEnglish
    11·
    4 个月前

    I’m more surprised that people can keep matching socks. My son almost always takes them off immediately after his shoes and they get tossed to who knows where.

    He wore a baby Yoda sock and a Gary the snail sock today.

  • kometes@lemmy.worldEnglish
    111·
    4 个月前

    If it’s not morally or physically dangerous, let your kids make their own choices.

  • drislands@lemmy.worldEnglish
    101·
    4 个月前

    This is a fun article and I enjoyed reading it. But, and this may be because I’m not a parent, this reads to me less like satire and more like a decent take borne of frustration.

  • NounsAndWords@lemmy.worldEnglish
    8·
    4 个月前

    I just buy a bulk bag of white socks. No need to worry about finding a match or losing a sock if she has 19 more that look exactly the same…

  • shalafi@lemmy.worldEnglish
    7·
    4 个月前

    My kids (9 and 11) seem to think it’s a fashion statement. They never match. Whatever.

    • adarza@lemmy.caEnglish
      4·
      4 个月前

      it is rather popular. even a company that literally made a name for themselves selling them. the girls here love their littlemissmatched socks.

  • The Snark Urge@lemmy.worldEnglish
    4·
    4 个月前

    My kid’s school literally celebrates an “odd socks day” to raise awareness about bullying, so anyone complaining about how my kid dresses would seem extra insane