I’m an introvert and I like going to work to do my job and go home. I don’t understand people who use a job as a substitute for friendship or marriage. It’s a means to an end.
The sooner I do my duties, the longer my downtime is going to be, and I love having my downtime.
Many of my colleagues see me and immediately start asking questions I don’t want to answer, but neither do I want to hurt their feelings, I mostly want to be left alone. In the past this has been deconstructed as arrogance and people with fragile egos feel insulted by my indifference to them and that I prefer to work than to talk to them.
The world is made by extroverts. I have observed that people are eager to help you if you give them attention. I don’t get it, but neither I’m not going to change how extroverts think or feel.
If I give them the attention they need for as long as they need it I’m going to end up with daily headaches and neither my job nor theirs is going to be done.
I want to appear approachable, but keeping the info I feed them to a minimum. How do I do that?
What do you talk about to your coworkers?
What do you say to stop conversation organically? (meaning they don’t get offended).
People that like you are more likely to help you. If you tell them to fuck off they’re not going to like you, and they’re not going to help you. And they make just make your life worse depending on how much of an ass you are. They’re probably trying to talk to you because they see you (presumably) looking miserable and want to be nice.
If that’s your only view of jobs you’ll probably never find one that will make you happy. Have you considered finding a different job that you’d actually enjoy? You’re much more likely to enjoy talking to your co workers when you’re surrounded by likeminded people.
a
No, turn this around. Everyone needs a way to pay the bills. But there are lots of ways to pay them. Lots of different jobs.
Would you rather work at a job where you’re happy or where you’re miserable?
A lot of people find their jobs easier if they’re on friendly terms with their coworkers.
Please note, this is not the same as being close friends with your coworkers.
a
It’s not a fantasy, it’s my current job right now.
You could argue I do with all the overtime I do. Granted that overtime leads to getting more raises so I don’t know if that qualifies.
The opposite, I made my hobbies my job. I love fucking around with computers so I got a job fucking around with computers.
Find a job you love, and find a job filled with people who will love you back. It’s not easy, but it’s not impossible either. You may need to move, you may need to go back to school. And worst of all, you may need to schmooze. Nepotism and cronyism gets jobs. Having a large network of people you associate with, and know what you want is probably the biggest key to getting the job of your dream.
a