I’m so sorry for what you’re going through, man. I really feel for you.

Have you considered joining a martial arts/self-defense club/group, if that’s a possibility?

I’m not saying this so you can beat people up, but I’ve really only heard good things from people who did this in their youth and had it rough otherwise. I think the value of it is more about self-worth, self-confidence and having a good environment to be around. My apologies if this isn’t realistic, just trying to think of anything that could help and not potentially be counter-productive.