When I hear the term “puritan” my immediate assumption is that the speaker has no actual knowledge or insight or experience regarding Christianity, Christian practices, Christian theology, or Christians as people. I assume the speaker does wish to signal a kind of non-christian lifestyle but simply has no actual clue.
Alright, well I’ll keep this comment short then. Just personally I have it as a hobby and its helped me work through a lot of stuff, and it’s something I’ll cherish for letting me make people happy. Being powerless or powerful is often the fantasy, and I find that it’s actually helped make happier relationships when properly explored.
A better reference point for your argument would probably be pornography. As much as I’ve worked there, it’s insanely disgusting and exploitative in many ways, not to mention obviously objectifying. I do think there maybe should be room for exploring sexuality and it shouldn’t be forced to be a taboo, but pornography in general is one of the sharpest point of capitalist decay and “horribleness” for lack of a better word. So that’s better to use than BDSM.
Lastly, my general view on the topic is very similar to Dan Olsen’s discussion [unfortunately a liberal] in his 50 shades of Grey series.
Edit: although…idk, I’m trying to not be angry here. It’s just as someone who went through genuine abuse, having the thing that gave me a lot of comfort in my relationships afterwards be the thing being called “abuse” by anyone kinda incenses me. But I’ll try to understand where people are coming from