• rhymeswithduck@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      5
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      15 days ago

      “other people’s feelings are not my responsibility” can be used to justify treating others badly. As in, I get to say whatever I want, and if you don’t like what I say about you, that’s entirely your problem.

      • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        10
        ·
        14 days ago

        This is likely intended to speak to people who’ve been conditioned to take on others’ emotional burdens. It’s a common theme for some of us, especially if we were raised by parents that made their feelings their kids’ problems. Some of us have to take years, or even decades, to unlearn not feeling responsible because somebody mercurial finds it easier to blame us than to take emotional accountability for themselves.

        If that’s an unfamiliar situation to you, consider yourself lucky. This isn’t for those that already have a healthy sense of self-esteem and confidence. This is for those that struggle to accept themselves because they’ve been emotionally twisted by others so intensely, that they need reminders of their own worth.

      • essell@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        14 days ago

        That kinda muddles up feelings, behaviours and reactions into a mix there…

        I am responsible for my actions since I control them.

        I am responsible for my intentions because I choose them.

        I am not responsible for other People’s feelings or reactions because I can not control them.

        If something I’m responsible for causes harm then I choose to make amends.

      • mzesumzira@piefed.social
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        14 days ago

        What the other commenter said, abusers love to make their victims feel responsible for their own abuse.

        Also, other people’s feelings are not my responsibility doesn’t mean I don’t get consequences if I hurt someone, it means my safety and my boundaries are valid even if someone hates them enough to cry about them.