The more i learn about them, the more I wonder how they tolerate the extraness forced into everything by virtue of who they are and what their compulsions make them believe they need
It all sounds so exhausting and like being on stage all day every day
Narcissist here. Nope. Not exhausting.
I think perhaps you’ve met some unhappy people. Not all people are unhappy.
Being self-centered doesn’t make you unhappy. It’s a navigable condition just like any other mood or perspective. Depends on what you make of it.