The more i learn about them, the more I wonder how they tolerate the extraness forced into everything by virtue of who they are and what their compulsions make them believe they need
It all sounds so exhausting and like being on stage all day every day
All of the narcissist people I’ve known were secretly internally miserable.
This is just it. Narcissists are miserably self-loathing, and they distract from tackling with it by focusing on others. The longer they can keep scapegoating and projecting and crazymaking, the longer they don’t have to think about themselves or accept that they have a problem.
And they blame that misery on everyone other then the face in the mirror.
What were the indicia of that you picked up on or knew about behind the scenes?
Answering from my own experiences, a lot of people who showed narcissistic traits tended to be very manipulative.
They always wanted something from everyone around them. Whatever anyone did for them, it was never enough. Never being enough seems to creep into other parts of a narcissistic person’s life. Never enough attention or never enough objects/wealth. Never satisfied with what they currently have and always wanting more but more is never enough. There seems to be a constant need to exploit everyone and everything for more.
When I compare that behaviour to people who are content and able to live in the moment, it becomes very easy for me to see who feels genuine happiness and who doesn’t.
People are complex and manipulation isn’t always going to be a thing that a narcissistic person does but damn it is common. Too common.