From where I’m sitting, a 55yo who came out eight years ago, the biggest thing I deal with is grief.
I tried to come out at 23 – young for the 90’s! – but chickened out in part because of some gatekeeping and also fear. So. Much. Fear. Even then though, my voice had dropped, my beard come in, and and and…
But I was young and hot and around beautiful slackers who would have loved me regardless, and now I carry the grief of 33 years of coulda-been.
That’s the price of transitioning in middle age, for me at least.
You might think that an old like me might be resentful of the opportunities available for trans youth today. Absolutely not! Seeing young adults who never had to go through the “wrong” puberty, that gives me so much hope and joy!
I grieve now for the kids who are seeing that hope deferred.
I guess what I’m getting at is that any age you transition at, there may be lost time to grieve, but more than that, it’s something to be treasured beyond value.
i don’t pretend to know what that’s like but i just want to say, to varying degrees, most everyone struggles to find themselves and whenever they do it always feels late. some people marry at 20 and figure out they want something else from life at 45. people can find out they need to change their moral beliefs, their faith, their family… we’re all trying to figure things out and the best we can do is make the most of what we have at any time.
From where I’m sitting, a 55yo who came out eight years ago, the biggest thing I deal with is grief.
I tried to come out at 23 – young for the 90’s! – but chickened out in part because of some gatekeeping and also fear. So. Much. Fear. Even then though, my voice had dropped, my beard come in, and and and…
But I was young and hot and around beautiful slackers who would have loved me regardless, and now I carry the grief of 33 years of coulda-been.
That’s the price of transitioning in middle age, for me at least.
You might think that an old like me might be resentful of the opportunities available for trans youth today. Absolutely not! Seeing young adults who never had to go through the “wrong” puberty, that gives me so much hope and joy!
I grieve now for the kids who are seeing that hope deferred.
I guess what I’m getting at is that any age you transition at, there may be lost time to grieve, but more than that, it’s something to be treasured beyond value.
I celebrate each and every one of you 💕
i don’t pretend to know what that’s like but i just want to say, to varying degrees, most everyone struggles to find themselves and whenever they do it always feels late. some people marry at 20 and figure out they want something else from life at 45. people can find out they need to change their moral beliefs, their faith, their family… we’re all trying to figure things out and the best we can do is make the most of what we have at any time.