I don’t like Facebook, but my mother and my father-in law both have facebooks. I tried some different social medias but I can’t make my mom go because the social medias are from other countries and stuff. Are there any American social medias where my mom would feel comfortable putting her face on?
I usually don’t put my face on social medias, sometimes I’ll put a photo of a guy who kind of looks like me, and choose a photo that’s taken from really far away, and people who don’t know me that well will think it’s me. My mom likes to put a headshot and then pixilated photos of the American flag and quotes from celebrity women she likes. That’s kind of a facebook thing. Are there any social medias like that?
Merry Christmas to all the Christians. I’m not Christian, so I get to be here. See you after church. I get to enjoy myself, and you’re in uncomfortable clothing, hahaha.
Tell them to delete them.
What?
Set your own battlefield, do not fall into theirs.
Use popular libre software, a chat app like Signal, over niche social media platforms.
How?
Some like this:
I tried to get my mom to download Signal but her memory is stuffed with photos and she hasn’t updated her OS so it didn’t work
Delete Facebook and update.
Pretty much repeating what’s been said here, but a) how does she actually use it beyond her own posting behaviour, and b) who is she talking to?
If she literally just posts random crap on her feed and talks only to kin, a concentrated effort to move family to something like Friendica might be a useful project. If she’s interacting with a wider network of friends/acquaintances, community/hobbyist groups, news outlets (you can do that in the States, can’t do it in Canada anymore), Facebook games, and various slop vectors, you have a much more challenging task on your hands.
There’s a lot of shit on Facebook that’s hard to replace in a way people who otherwise don’t care about Meta would use. If you’re looking to start anywhere, I’d say start setting up a Friendica instance, have a plan to onboard key family members with the least amount of friction possible, seed your own feed with grandma bait, and keep bringing it up (“Oh yeah, [x] was great, I took a lot of pictures, here’s the link to my Friendica page. Oh, you need an account? It’s just your e-mail, password’s GrammyGram@420. I’ll show you how to change it*.”)
*Not a Friendica user so I dunno how it works in detail, but you get the idea. Also doesn’t need to be Friendica specifically, but this one’s usually brought up when talking Facebook alternatives specifically.
Parents will go to where their family are on social; either get the family to post elsewhere, or teach them to be conscious about being on the big tech platforms.
Teach them about privacy settings like post audience; post pruning; privacy options; privacy checkups.
Friendica is an alternative for Facebook. https://friendi.ca/ There’s an Android app for it : https://f-droid.org/en/packages/com.livefast.eattrash.raccoonforfriendica
I just told my extended family how they can contact me, and accepted that I’d be out of the loop on some things.
Lol, you don’t. There’s a whole bunch of reasons they enjoy Facebook that you can’t replicate outside of it with privacy respecting social media. Mainly, all their friends and other pages they interact with already on Facebook.
This is a pretty frequent question in privacy spaces. The best you can do is manage your own, and maybe talk to them about the risks. Maybe. If they’re open to it.
I agree. Obviously for people like us in the minority, the big social media platforms are the stuff of nightmares. But for your average person, Friendica and Pixelfed and so on would be shit because they have no people and no content. And to a large extent, none of the addictive dark patterns.
Personally I don’t even bother trying to explain to people unless they ask about what platforms I use and why. And I still think it’s great that alternative platforms exist, I sure as hell wouldn’t discourage people from using them nor do I think the developers should just give up because it seems pointless. A little is better than nothing.
Oh, but there is one thing Lemmy can replicate. [email protected]
description: “For posting all the anonymous reactionary bullshit that you can’t post anywhere else.”
Yeah I have actually thought of making my own just on a home server but I doubt I’d be able to get all of my mom’s friends to use it.
Why do you want to do this?
She’s happy. Let her be happy.
Because I don’t want facebook, but I still want talk to my mom on the computer.
Ignore Facebook but install Signal on her phone and start sharing your life via pictures to a group or use the “stories” feature? It takes effort but parents want to see whats going on.
Just beware that uninformed and uncaring people can still leak whatever you send them.
Then use facebook. Go where the people you want to be around are.
Just recognize that all the stuff you put on social media is public.
Unfortunately there is only one way to get older generations onto a new app: make it the only place where they can see pictures of their grandkids
(I’m serious tho. When you have kids you can get their grandparents to install ANYTHING if you tell them it has pics of the new baby.)
Yeah, but you probably don’t want to put pics of your kids up on the internet.
Next best thing is to make a Signal group and disallow anyone else to send messages in it. Then they can reply to you directly with their comments and that will “keep you in touch”.
There was an app called “Circles” made expressly for this purpose that used Matrix, but it’s been abandoned for a while.
It’s a fool’s errand unfortunately. Users stay in spaces because their friends and social circles are there. It doesn’t really matter how shitty the platform becomes. The social cost of moving is just too high.
The solution is interoperability and some regulation. Unfortunately we have neither. All you can do is inform your mom about the dangers and teach her to recognise propaganda and abuse.
Would recommend reading Cory Doctorow’s book ”Enshittification”
You unfortunately are coming at the problem from the wrong direction.
The only social network they will want to use is the one with all their friends on it; and for the older generations, that’s basically just Facebook.
In order to get them to move you’d need to get their friends to move, and in order to get their friends to move, you’ll need to get their friends to also move. It’s called the network effect and it’s why it’s incredibly hard for any non-established social networks to gain much of a market share.
Your best bet (which is by no means a guarantee) is to wait for the latest Facebook scandal to be in the news, and chat to them about it whilst they’re watching it on TV. Plus add a bit more fuel by doing the ol’ “oh this reminds me of something else I was reading a couple of months ago…” And have some other recent scandals in your back pocket to fire out. Bonus points if you can already establish yourself on something like Friendica, which will allow you to say “yeah I quit Facebook a while ago, the company running it just seems skeevy, I’ve been using friendica instead for a bit now” or something like that
Then you have to hope that registers enough as a talking point amongst them and their friends that it sticks. But you have an uphill struggle ahead with no certainty of success.
It’s not the friends. It’s the distant family that you never see but still want to know about births, deaths, etc. It’s the neighborhood groups that tell you when your package gets delivered to the wrong house. Its the city groups that tell you why the railroad crossing is closed and which house has the best Halloween decorations.
Damn, so you’re telling me I have to rebuild Facebook, basically.
Its more people who leave do it because they no longer need the social media or are fine with cutting themself off from it and being fine with missing out on content from there. Hard to convince other people to do the same, but you can leave methods to contact you like trying to push them to use Signal to stay in touch.
But, having them drop something they like and were never sketched out by sharing personal photos and info on a publicly accessible social media site is unlikely.
Well I’d lean on the shoulder of giants in terms of the actual service and not do it completely from scratch given we’ve got Facebook-likes in the fediverse, you could suggest to them. But basically yes from a network perspective unfortunately
Although you have given me an idea for an angle that the fediverse is perfect for: set up an instance for your local area
That allows you to also do the “screw untrustworthy big tech, keep things local with people you know” kind of angle.
Also obviously a fair bit of work, and you still have to ultimately convince people to use it, but worth highlighting regardless.
facebook first went to shit around the time kids and grandparents were allowed to join, so …
They should make a Facebook for moms, other than Facebook
That’s just facebook with extra steps
Yeah but what if that’s what the world needs
Oh no, I’m absolutely convinced you are right. Now, convince the moms …
No the first thing we need is a pair of identical twins to steal from
I made this for me and my family. You self host your own private platform.
Mastodon has a lot of users, but I’d block the most political instances if that’s something that could ragebait her. Fediverse mods aren’t paid to give a fuck so the ban hammer comes easy… just block instances that are pro stuff she doesn’t like.
get all their friends to move
