One of my favourite characters was a wizard/barbarian lizardman. He believed that if you defeated a powerful foe you could gain its power by eating its heart (and also knew that this wasn’t literal, it was a cultural thing). He explained to the party that he was very smart because “I ate a wizard, once.” In fact, the wizard had had a Headband of Intellect that Xarg took from his corpse. He disguised the headband by wrapping it in crude leather decorated with teeth, making it look like a tribal collar thingy, so that people didn’t know how important it was.
Robert Jordan wrote some Conan the Barbarian books. I was caught off guard by Conan being smart. It was rather scary.
The original Conan short stories depict Conan as very intelligent, even if he despises ‘overclever’ solutions.
I guess I found what I’m reading next, thank you.
No problem. It was a random find at the library for me. I was looking for the next Wheel of Time book, but it was out and these Conan books were right there. I picked them up and loved them.
Actually, I’ll put them next on my re-read list.
One of the most surprising things to me about the Conan novels was realizing exactly how many modern fantasy tropes are directly descended from them.
I’m fairly convinced that all contemporary fantasy is an incestuous mix of inbred descendants of LotR and Conan.
Sometimes some fresh blood will enter the mix, but those genes are strong.
Yes, it’s hard to do anything new in fantasy without departing the genre norms and being reclassified as magical realism, sci fi, speculative fiction, weird lit, etc. But really it’s just fantasy without the trappings of the genre.
Some examples:
Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell – a absolute banger of a fantasy novel – gets classified as alternate history. Wut?
A Thousand Years of Solitude – wins a nobel prize in literature – oh, that’s definitely not fantasy, right? Except it is…
Book of the New Sun – it’s got all the trappings of an epic fantasy travelog, even the emo main character. Medieval society, magical artifacts, weird and wonderful creatures (the ones that steal memories are so creepy!)… but no elves, and the setting is post-technology, so it’s sci fi. (If you haven’t read it, and enjoy a challenge, this is a serious recommendation.)
The Fifth Season – it and its sequels win three Hugo awards for sci fi (they aren’t that good in my opinion, but I digress) – but the main character is an earthquake wizard, and the whole thing is basically a magic system. No dwarves though…
So if you’re an author and you’re trying to sell a fantasy scenario that just a little off course, you don’t want to stray too far or you end up on another shelf in the bookstore. So we get Shannara and Wheel of Time and Mistborn and Elric of Melniboné and more and more. Some of it is quite good, but all of it is basically fan-fiction for LotR and Conan. Or Dungeons and Dragons, which is itself LotR/Conan inspired.
Counterpoint: Earthsea, Discworld, American Gods, Stardust
How much of the book is spent explaining the detailing on female barbarian clothing?
You and me focus on different things while reading a book.
That was one of the minor reasons I gave up on WoT
Oh right, sorry. I kinda forgot about that.
My most recent read through of WoT was while falling asleep. Those sections were fucking boring even then. Most of the time I would remember 10-15 minutes worth and then rewind to what I remembered the next night. During the slog I didn’t even bother sometimes.
“All you really need to know is that it comes down to a logic tree and all decisions can be summarized as ‘Smash!’ or ‘No Smash.’”
But we’re talking about barbarians, not bards?
I chose my words carefully.
too carefully
Barbarians in 3.5 actually get base 4 Skill Points per level, which is more than Clerics, Fighters, Paladins, Sorcerers, and Wizards. I always took this as meaning that D&D Barbarians were intended to have more going on than just rage-smashing - stealth, tracking, nature lore, etc.
Yes, they’ve always been a Conan-type.
Conan was not stupid, he just had a very particular set of skills geared towards murdering people and looting ancient temples.
In the Conan books I read, he was primarily identified as a thief early in his life, and only later became known as a warrior and tactician.
Of course, most people know him more from the movies, which emphasized his brawn over else.
Philosophers with clubs.
The battle:
25% Red Lasers
25% Blue Lasers
50% Knowing
or when u max str/dex/con and dump the rest on int against mind flayers
