DES MOINES, IA — Jessica Djukanovic, a conservative wrestling coach, mother of four, and loyal voter for the “Traditional Values and Strict Legislation Party,” is reportedly “shocked and appalled” to discover that the very laws she helped implement are currently treating her life as a secondary concern to a non-viable fetus.
Thoughts and prayers:
Thought: I think she is quite stupid.
Prayer: May she suffer from her life choices, and then rot in hell.
One in the thought two in the prayer, a nice change up.