• FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca
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    14 hours ago

    Year one: threat averted, most students unaffected

    Year two: several students attacked but no deaths

    Year three: alleged killer on the loose but nobody gets hurt

    Year four: two students are kidnapped from athletic competition, one killed and the other almost killed

    Year five: strangely, no attacks on the school

    Year six: student attempts to kill principal twice, injuring two other students in the process, then lets in an army of known killers to attack the school, principal is killed

    Year seven: big battle, several people killed on both sides

    • njm1314@lemmy.world
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      10 hours ago

      Another way to think of year five is that there was a terrorist attack on an unofficial school club’s field trip.

    • kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world
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      12 hours ago

      Year three: alleged killer on the loose but nobody gets hurt

      I mean, several students get attacked by a werewolf and 100 dementors in the same night, nearly resulting in 3 people (2 of them students) losing their very souls. And of course, poor Draco maimed by Buckb- uh… I mean, Witherwings.

      Year five: strangely, no attacks on the school

      That’s a very diplomatic way to skirt around the governmental coup of the school implementing totalitarian control by a racist megalomaniac, restricting basic rights, turning students into secret police, and punishing discent with literal fucking torture.

    • ceenote@lemmy.world
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      14 hours ago

      Clearly, the High Inquisitor program was a success, and the fake news Daily Prophet was libelously alleging it wasn’t.