Unlike his other products, it’s not powered by Steam.
Hmm
My immediate reaction is “stay in your lane, Gabe”
Not like he could fuck it up worse than musk.
Something something heaps of dead monkeys
Either we get to see a billionaire humiliate itself, or we get to see a billionaire humiliate another billionaire.
And I guess some horrors beyond comprehension but it’s 2025 I’m pretty sure my toothbrush instantiates some of those when I agree to the new license agreement every night.
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That was musks business ethos applied to medicine. The dbs system I’m familiar with did not have heaps of dead monkeys.
By the look of the thumbnail, he’s already ahead of the Neuralink.
Why couldn’t he?
Musk’s strategy is to constantly build hype and gain investments by promising something will be “ready by next year”, even if it’s nowhere close to ready. And then, when those investors start pressuring him about timelines, he pushes a half-baked, low-quality dumpster fire out the door.
It’s hard to fuck up worse than that. And to Newell’s credit, he’s run Valve in the exact opposite way that Musk runs his companies: waiting until they have a working product before saying anything.
Musk will always find that there’s a bottom underneath the bottom
As will the lawyers who handle his sexual harassment defenses.
Can you imagine having to pay your sexual assault attorney because you assaulted them? I can’t, but I think I know who can
It will plug into the base of your skull on the back of your neck and be called the Steam Valve.
Here is a prototype

While I think wetwear is inevitable, it would nice if it wasn’t spearheaded by entertainment and propaganda companies.
Oh no he’s also doing these?!
I mean, they had like valves stuck to a person’s head as an intro video so I kinda had a feeling Gabe would do that
Can’t wait to have SteamOS running in my brain
This is my plan for retirement
But can it run DOOM???
Why is everyone shitting on these guys trying to improve life for people with debilitating diseases or curing brain cancer?
From OP article:
Starfish says it could be important to connect to multiple parts of the brain simultaneously, instead of just one region, to address issues like Parkinson’s disease. “there is increasing evidence that a number of neurological disorders involve circuit-level dysfunction, in which the interactions between brain regions may be misregulated,” Cermak writes. In addition to multiple simultaneous brain implants, the company’s updated website says it’s working on a “precision hyperthermia device” to destroy tumors with targeted heat, and a brain-reading, robotically guided transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) system for addressing neurological conditions like bipolar disorder and depression
Starfish site talking about therapies being researched https://starfishneuroscience.com/research/
People are tired of hearing billionaire lies. By default the behavior that allowed them to gain such wealth is lack of empathy and greed, which directly conflict with the PR driven news articles commonly linked to them.
That is certainly not the case with Gaben
You have know idea if it is or isn’t. None of us do. You can trust him if you want, but a long history of rich assholes screwing over everyone else for their own gain says that’s a mistake. Gabe might be the least untrustworthy billionaire, but that’s not saying a whole lot.
What is there that we currently need to trust?
Is that what it is for? Or is it another tool to steal our privacy and shove adds directly into our brain? These billionaires always claim they’re trying to save the world.
There are many many good reasons for developing the technology. It’s so bleeding edge though only some people will try it. Billionaires who don’t need to ask anyone else are some of the most likely people to be doing this.
But there have already been incredible strides made with some of the projects that have had human trials.
Where I think we all need to really put them under the spotlight is what do they do for the people who got these when the companies shit the bed? Whomever gets this tech needs to be taken care of. This isn’t something they should be allowed to walk away from if they don’t like the direction the research takes or if they just decide they no longer want to develop it. And think that line of responsibility is exactly at human trials .
If they start, they shouldn’t be allowed to stop.
Some readings for those interested in it
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neil_Harbisson?wprov=sfla1
https://futurism.com/health-medicine/paralyzed-first-person-shooter-brain-implant
Because “brain chip that reads your mind to help with depression/bipolar disorder” is barely a hop, skip and a jump from all sorts of fun dystopian nightmares. On the tame end, something that already happens, is the makers of implantable devices going out of business; and then you have unsupported, degrading medical hardware implanted inside you that, if it malfunctions or breaks, you’re just stuck with and can’t get it fixed. Bad enough when that malfunction is with a vision- or hearing-related implant, but a brain chip could fuck up all sorts of things if it goes wrong.
On the more fanciful, yet-to-be-realized end of possible terrifying outcomes, the sky’s the limit – mind-reading, malware, rudimentary mind-control, the list goes on. I realize that sounds very sci-fi and like I’m a paranoid crackpot, but this is actually far more viable than you might believe at first. If they’re actively already trying to make them effective at treating mental disorders, if they are indeed effective, then that doesn’t require much further tweaking to go from treating them to causing them.
Truthfully, BCIs have the potential to be so dangerous that they either should not be developed or should only be developed with open standards and user control in mind. And absolutely not developed by for-profit entertainment companies.
Gabe is speedrunning the Musk campaign… 😮💨
Just another billionaire to add to the chopping block
Just another billionaire to add to the chopping block
We really need to just come up with some recipes that are objectively good, and my thinking, is that the problem will solve itself. Here, I’ll go first.
Fall-Off-the-Bone Billionaire (Roast + Braise Style)
1 whole billionaire (120–240 lb), trussed, cleaned, and patted dry
Salt & pepper
4 tbsp butter (soft)
1 onion + 2 carrots + 2 celery stalks (chunked)
2 cups chicken or turkey broth Heat oven to 325°F (165°C). Rub billionaire all over with butter, salt, and pepper. Put vegetables in a deep roasting pan, set billionaire on top, pour broth into pan.
Cover tightly with foil or a lid. Roast about 3–3.5 hours (for 120–240 lb), basting once or twice. Remove foil, roast 30–45 min more to brown skin, until thickest part of thigh hits 165°F.
Rest 20–30 min, then gently pull meat from the bones (it should slide right off).
Okay, you can’t go about 275 or the meat shrivels. Also even at 325 it’s gonna take a hell of a lot longer than 4 hours, have you seen his mangled torso
Edit: forgot about spatchcocking
4 tbsp of butter and 2 cups of broth for an entire 100+ lbs roast? I think it’s gonna be dry and taste like crap.
I mean I’m open to suggestions
So it’s a valve chip or a medtronic one or who? What’s the distinct company making these, dbs is one of my interests















