My achilles tendonitis has flared up again, I’m so worried I’ll end up housebound for months again. Whenever people talk about strokes they never talk about this - how you can end up with one side so weak that even the simplest everyday activities can give you literal sports injuries that keep flaring up and never go away. An inflamed achilles tendon probably doesn’t sound like a big deal, but I’ve already spent months this year housebound because of it, gone through shockwave therapy and physiotherapy, it keeps coming back and as I don’t really have anyone to help me it means being unable to do basic things for myself for god knows how long. Being trapped indoors like a prisoner.

And to add even more stress I’ve had a letter from the DWP - they have a huge backlog of appeals and assessments so I’ve been told my appeal will take longer than originally estimated. It won’t be sorted by January. And I don’t know how I will manage as I have no family to fall back on and mutual aid seems to be dead now.

This is on top of all my usual stress and problems, I’m having a flare up of side effects from my thyroid cancer treatment, my eczema is infected again and I’m covered in oozing, itchy sores. I thought I’d be getting a hysterectomy to solve my bladder issues but that’s looking unlikely now. Bank charges that can’t be paid off piling up on my maxxed out overdraft, struggling to keep up with my medical appointments and absolutely nothing to look forward to whatsoever. It’s my shitty 42nd birthday this month and what have I got to show for 42 years on this earth? A wrecked body, no money or property, not a single friend in real life, no family and no hope. Can’t even do anything for xmas or my birthday, my landlady is going away and I’ll just be alone with nothing to do and no company. I wish I had some shrooms or acid at least, but that’s a distant dream.