When “doing it”, are you regularly thinking about putting clothes away, which clothes to wash next or if you emptied the washing machine? Or when you washed your clothes the last time?
Is it distracting to the point you get soft (for penis havers) or dry (for ADHDers with vaginas)?
Thanks! That’s pretty much what I do. As I said in my reply to shneancy, it’s made a lot harder by my neurodivergent partner having serious communication issues around the topic. So it isn’t even to get feedback, but they’re the one who love aggressive sex.
I have experimented with some stuff on myself to get a gauge of how hard is too hard. But tbh, I don’t really enjoy getting slapped in face or choked so, it’s hard to guess what’s the correct level for someone else!
Edit: I now realized you wrote in an Adhd community… Sorry for being stupid below. But my point still stands tho
Yes true, it’s different for everyone! I’ve read your reply. Kinda ironic they say it’s obvious while being neurodivergent (sounds like autism, I’m also autistic).
You are not a mind-reader. And it is SO easy to miss a cue even if you knew them all because you can’t look at their whole body at the same time. Also if it is as obvious as they say, they should be able to teach you all the cues. (I realize that isn’t the case tho, but it would be logical)
I would refuse to play with someone who refuses to communicate. The worst case scenario is death and depending on what flavor of BDSM ones like, that can easily happen. Permanent damages even more likely. Being neurodivergent isn’t an excuse to skip communication.
But, a real suggestion. Maybe you two can playfully explore their body to help them increase their body awareness?