Welcome to your application for ADHD testing. Watch this video of paint drying for thirty minutes. Your eyes must not leave the screen. If they do, the application starts over. Once you have finished, answer sixty-eight questions that are deeply personal, including several about traumatic memories from childhood. You must submit your application in seven days. Afterward approval, call the office to schedule an appointment. You may not call for 30 days, and the appointment must be made within sixty days. Expect to navigate a complex phone tree that tells you to “listen carefully, as our menu options have changed”, and then be on hold for thirty minutes to an hour. The scheduler will then connect, say they can’t hear you, and hang up. There are no physical offices to go to in person. Good night and good luck
I know you skipped that paragraph. Go back and read it
I don’t think I have anxiety about it, but I do hate the chore of listening to voicemail. The process of cycling through messages one by one is like pulling teeth out with a spoon. Painful, slow, and inefficient. Visual voicemail with text conversion is a real gift, and if the text conversation is crap I can always hit the play button directly and listen to my sister say “umm” forty times in thirty seconds
People with social anxiety have won too much ground with self-effacingly relatable memes. It’s time we started leaving them voice mails about it 💪🏻
We are trying to reach you about your social anxiety, we’ll call again at a random time.
I’m pretty sure this is detailed in the geneva convention as a crime against humanity.
Welcome to your application for ADHD testing. Watch this video of paint drying for thirty minutes. Your eyes must not leave the screen. If they do, the application starts over. Once you have finished, answer sixty-eight questions that are deeply personal, including several about traumatic memories from childhood. You must submit your application in seven days. Afterward approval, call the office to schedule an appointment. You may not call for 30 days, and the appointment must be made within sixty days. Expect to navigate a complex phone tree that tells you to “listen carefully, as our menu options have changed”, and then be on hold for thirty minutes to an hour. The scheduler will then connect, say they can’t hear you, and hang up. There are no physical offices to go to in person. Good night and good luck
I know you skipped that paragraph. Go back and read it
I don’t think I have anxiety about it, but I do hate the chore of listening to voicemail. The process of cycling through messages one by one is like pulling teeth out with a spoon. Painful, slow, and inefficient. Visual voicemail with text conversion is a real gift, and if the text conversation is crap I can always hit the play button directly and listen to my sister say “umm” forty times in thirty seconds
Voice mail is a lost art, somewhat. I got experience with them from work, and I leave pretty good ones.