never got into the lore but I have seen 40k posts for years so here are my opinions based on osmosis:

1. dude looks like a lovecraft monster probably see indescribable horrors if I smoke that

2. I think that’s Nergle? he’s basically the mucinex guy so that thing is just filled with snot

3. Don’t know the red dude he looks like a gears of war fanboy though, probably tastes like monster energy drink

4. Slaneesh? the one with the horny followers, its probably like viagra and molly

5. I know that’s the emperor but he’s really just a skeleton thing right? I assume it would be rolled up mummy dust

Assuming I die from all of these I choose horny to death