I’m not here to advertise for them that’s not the point. It was for a suicide prevention / awareness clothing brand. The shirts are kinda corny, but well meaning. The thing that got me was the voice over. It was basically validation that things can get tough and that the listener could handle it.

No one in my life does that. The only person who ever did was my mom and she died (too young) a decade ago. I haven’t had any substantial emotional support since she passed. My dad is an abusive POS. My wife is stuck in her own head. My kids aren’t supposed to do that, it’s too much for a child. My friends… Never call first. It’s always me starting anything. Literal months have gone by if I don’t start anything.

I’m surrounded by people but I feel so alone. I don’t actively wanna “check out” most days, but damn that ad made me realize how much I crave validation. I really want someone close to me to tell me on a regular basis that I make their life better.

I don’t think anyone gives a shit. I know if I ended it, they’d miss the paycheck I provide, but I feel like that’s it. I know my kids would be worse off, by far, and that’s probably a large chunk of why I’m still here. I love them so much. They’re the best.

I’m struggling to post this because I know y’all internet strangers will be nice about it, but that just feels like I’m fishing for validation which makes me feel guilty. But didn’t I just say I wanted validation? What the fuck is wrong with me.