Hey Jeanist. You’re pretty chill and you raise good points. I also really fucking hate the tendency for people to pathologize others for the smallest reasons or conflicts. I’m sorry that’s the behavior I’ve invoked with my comment.
I definitely don’t intend to justify that because I hate that too, especially the way we even conceptualize NPD within the DSM.
I would just like to say here that I don’t have a better term to describe the “cultural narcissism” that we’re raised in here in America. That’s literally what it is, not NPD just traits what we typically associate with it but as cultural values. I would like to use a better term to describe it but the closest things I’ve heard could be “Magical determinism” but that’s something different. Or “Toxic individualism” but I just made that one up and it doesn’t seem quite salient. Do you live in America and would you recommend any better term to describe this specific thing? If you want to PM about it too I’m down to talk about this at length without spectators.
I’ve interacted with Jeanist before and they are cool. I can tell I upset them and their heart is in the right place. Since coming to Lemmy I’ve noticed that most people here are really more nice and definitely more intelligent then we have been trained to assume. We all just gotta unpack some baggage we have learned from other social medias. I know using reddit for years made me an utter fucking tool.
I looked through your spat with them and you seem smart too. I think you both could have this conversation in a more productive way if you had just started off on the right foot. I appreciate you speaking up for me though. You’re right that I didn’t mean it to throw literal NPD people under the bus.
Oh, I saw it all. That was definitely ugly. Baseless pedo accusations are not okay. I can usually tell the difference between when somebody is lashing out and if they’re like a serial bad actor with a history of that shit. In my dealings with them, they really didn’t strike me that way.
I also had a bunch of people just straight up diagnose me with a bunch of heinous shit one time in my life where I tried to having some basic bare minimum authenticity. So I get why they freaked out, even if I don’t like all the stuff they said to you. I was hoping I could bring them back to a gentler interaction by not rising to the callout. I just really like the fediverse and believe in our potential to break our old habits here
…are you sure that’s a western urge? I don’t really think that’s how it goes in Finland, Spain, Sweden or Germany.
People would not react the way you see here, but that’s because of the way the message is conveyed, not because of the message itself.
IDK man, in my city, most intersections have a stopping area for bikes a few meters ahead of where cars are supposed to stop, to protect cyclists when they are making a turn. Cars going over the line and blocking this area is an extremely common occurrence (more often than not I’d say). I would love to have someone go around and just bonk people for stuff like this. I agree with point c.
“A tap”. The guy full on grappled some of them. Sure, it is probably considered “normal” in the area, but that doesn’t have anything to do with your comment, does it? You’re deliberately misrepresenting the inherently violent encounters to paint cultures you don’t like as uniquely violent, which is pretty shitty and hypocritical. It is not a “cultural thing” to anticipate others reacting violently when attacked.
I think that’s just a cultural thing. The western urge to fight anyone who points out you are wrong is not universal.
Doesn’t suprise me. Living here has caused me to expect sadists and manchildren in most situations
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What the actual fuck dude? Why you tying aroace to narcissism?
edit: upon further interaction with this asshole I have determined they are acting in bad faith and do not understand the words they are using.
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Yeah, still not the comparison you should be making.
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Oh look it’s the Aphobic asshole who spews misinformation.
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Hey Jeanist. You’re pretty chill and you raise good points. I also really fucking hate the tendency for people to pathologize others for the smallest reasons or conflicts. I’m sorry that’s the behavior I’ve invoked with my comment.
I definitely don’t intend to justify that because I hate that too, especially the way we even conceptualize NPD within the DSM.
I would just like to say here that I don’t have a better term to describe the “cultural narcissism” that we’re raised in here in America. That’s literally what it is, not NPD just traits what we typically associate with it but as cultural values. I would like to use a better term to describe it but the closest things I’ve heard could be “Magical determinism” but that’s something different. Or “Toxic individualism” but I just made that one up and it doesn’t seem quite salient. Do you live in America and would you recommend any better term to describe this specific thing? If you want to PM about it too I’m down to talk about this at length without spectators.
Why would you ask for their help? They expected you to behave as badly as they did.
I’ve interacted with Jeanist before and they are cool. I can tell I upset them and their heart is in the right place. Since coming to Lemmy I’ve noticed that most people here are really more nice and definitely more intelligent then we have been trained to assume. We all just gotta unpack some baggage we have learned from other social medias. I know using reddit for years made me an utter fucking tool.
I looked through your spat with them and you seem smart too. I think you both could have this conversation in a more productive way if you had just started off on the right foot. I appreciate you speaking up for me though. You’re right that I didn’t mean it to throw literal NPD people under the bus.
Yeah, no. They called me a gatekeeper, said I wasn’t Aroace, and called me a pedophile.
They also expected you to call them a narcissist and a bunch of other things.
They also doubled down on using definitions they showed a lack of understanding of.
I got screen caps of them behaving in a manner they were trying to accuse you of.
Oh, I saw it all. That was definitely ugly. Baseless pedo accusations are not okay. I can usually tell the difference between when somebody is lashing out and if they’re like a serial bad actor with a history of that shit. In my dealings with them, they really didn’t strike me that way.
I also had a bunch of people just straight up diagnose me with a bunch of heinous shit one time in my life where I tried to having some basic bare minimum authenticity. So I get why they freaked out, even if I don’t like all the stuff they said to you. I was hoping I could bring them back to a gentler interaction by not rising to the callout. I just really like the fediverse and believe in our potential to break our old habits here
Combative is what this bigot gets a 24 hr ban for?
The fuck?
…are you sure that’s a western urge? I don’t really think that’s how it goes in Finland, Spain, Sweden or Germany.
People would not react the way you see here, but that’s because of the way the message is conveyed, not because of the message itself.
can only speak for germany:
a. this situation wouldn’t really occur since rule compliance is higher
b. people use cars - 2-wheel vehicles are rare
c. seething road rage is the default modus operandi. a fight is inevitable (it might just be a karen-esque fight through the legal system tho*)
IDK man, in my city, most intersections have a stopping area for bikes a few meters ahead of where cars are supposed to stop, to protect cyclists when they are making a turn. Cars going over the line and blocking this area is an extremely common occurrence (more often than not I’d say). I would love to have someone go around and just bonk people for stuff like this. I agree with point c.
That’s not true! Do you have any source for your unqualified claims? Ha! Thought so. Why do you hate the West so much, comrade?
Yeah, it definitely wouldn’t have anything to do with him striking them without warning 🙄
It’s a plastic hollow bat on a motorcycle helmet.
A tap on the helmet is a common way to get a riders attention when they’re on a loud bike and the other person also has a helmet muffling their voice.
I trust the guy in the video to know what is acceptable in his area.
“A tap”. The guy full on grappled some of them. Sure, it is probably considered “normal” in the area, but that doesn’t have anything to do with your comment, does it? You’re deliberately misrepresenting the inherently violent encounters to paint cultures you don’t like as uniquely violent, which is pretty shitty and hypocritical. It is not a “cultural thing” to anticipate others reacting violently when attacked.