That third point gives me the impression that the poster and their parents got “strict” and “slightly abusive” mixed up. Strict parenting shouldn’t involve flying off the handle at the kid. Done properly, being strict just means having rules and consequences for breaking those rules, both of which are extremely consistent, and to scale.
I mean, slightly abusive people don’t call themselves “slightly abusive,” they say they’re just being “strict,” and abuse victims have enough to process that I don’t think we should get overly hung up on their semantics,
But consistent rules and consequences that are proportionate are definitely good things and a parent whose just totally checked out can be just as bad as one that’s super controlling, so I see your point here
That’s true. I feel like if you have a bad parent that is strict, you land on abusive. While if you have a bad parent that is lenient, you land on neglectful.
That third point gives me the impression that the poster and their parents got “strict” and “slightly abusive” mixed up. Strict parenting shouldn’t involve flying off the handle at the kid. Done properly, being strict just means having rules and consequences for breaking those rules, both of which are extremely consistent, and to scale.
I mean, slightly abusive people don’t call themselves “slightly abusive,” they say they’re just being “strict,” and abuse victims have enough to process that I don’t think we should get overly hung up on their semantics,
But consistent rules and consequences that are proportionate are definitely good things and a parent whose just totally checked out can be just as bad as one that’s super controlling, so I see your point here
Colloquially, ‘strict’ is a euphemism for abusive because a narcissistic parent would never call themselves abusive.
For pedants, ‘is’ above means ‘can be’.
That’s true. I feel like if you have a bad parent that is strict, you land on abusive. While if you have a bad parent that is lenient, you land on neglectful.
Source: Pure vibes