AFAB genderfluid here. You have very limited information, I know that, but whatever.
My dad came from a quite traditional family. He used to be transphobic himself and was a little weirded out when I came out as a boy on some days, but my mom was always open-minded and my dad learned to accept it.
His sister, on the other hand, never learned to accept it and stayed the same: supportive of me liking men and women, but seemingly not supportive of me being genderfluid.
One day, I said I was on my period, and she said “Boys don’t get periods, so you’re a girl”. When I first came out, she said “Well I accept you no matter what my beautiful niece” and is always trying to get me to look and be more feminine. She tried to get me to wear a skirt a bit ago when I’m usually a guy, not a girl, and I also don’t really like wearing skirts as a guy.
It depends on how you define “love”. Other than misgendering you, she seems to treat you well enough based on what you said.
To me, love is putting someone else’s needs above your own. And it’s not a binary thing–someone can generally love someone but still do unloving things at times. Misgendering you certainly is not loving, but if she otherwise treats you with respect and affection… well, it’s kinda for you to decide. And depending on where she’s coming from, she may even have good intentions, even when misgendering you (as twisted as that may seem). This doesn’t excuse her behavior, but it may change how you view her.
The more practical question is whether you want to continue a relationship with her, assuming she continues to misgender you. And again, that’s for you to decide.
I couldn’t possibly say from this post whether she genuinely cares about you or not.
But at the moment she is being blatantly disrespectful of who you are and how you see yourself, even if she is trying to help.
It could be she doesn’t realize she is being hurtful and could embrace you for who you are with a bit of prodding… and the other extreme is that she is someone who will never try to see your side, for whichever reasons have made this so ingrained to her.
I can’t know, because I don’t know her or her motivations. I may be naive but I trust that she does love you, even if she’s imperfect in showing it and maybe even if she’s a bigot.
Love is weird like that, and you can still love people who don’t understand. Hell, you can even love people you hate, but I dont think she hates you.
I think she cares deeply and is trying to help… and doing a terrible job of it, but she’s still trying, which would mean that she does indeed love you.
Sounds like she loves the version of you that lives in her imagination. That person looks like you, and speaks and acts mostly like you, but isn’t trans, just “confused”. She has substituted the “you” that she really interacts with for the “you” in her imagination.
So… does she love you, or just love “you”? In my experience, people tend to love their beliefs more than they love other people. I am an incredibly cynical bastard, though, so take that with a grain of salt.
I think that in order for your aunt to acknowledge the person you actually are, she’ll have to first say goodbye to the version of you she invented. She might not be willing to do that.
No, she doesn’t - she doesn’t even know what love actually is. Telling you she “loves” you is her attempting to manipulate you into trusting her so she can try to remake you into her preferred version of you. Don’t fall for it. When you love someone for real, you accept them as they are - you don’t push them towards something they’re telling you is wrong for them.
doesn’t sound like love, idk
