This is not something I see here on lemmygrad. In fact, lemmygrad does an excellent job of this and challenges ableist language I sometimes use.
However, this is the only place I know that is willing to stay tough on problematic language and terminology.
As I’m sure you know, the 90’s and 00’s was a time when the “F” slur was common. You heard or said “thats gay” 95 times a minute. The “R” slur was about as common.
Then, somewhat suddenly, this language began to die down. Over the years it became more and more rare to hear. I think this is because people wanted to be more respectful, or, at least that’s why I also decided to be more intentional about these matters.
But this is changing. The last few years I’ve seen people double down on the R slur. I am somewhat unsurprised, afterall, the R word was not rejected as aggressively as the F slur or the “thats gay” comment. I am convinced most people around me are closeted eugenicists emboldened by the extreme ableism baked into their emerging fascist identities.
But now I am seeing people defend how they use gay as an insult as well. I find this to be terrifying. I don’t understand how any conscientious person could shamelessly use such language.
For those of you that have decided its ok to use such language. Thank you. I am working overtime trying to find out who exactly will be comfortable killing disabled people and queer people. You make my life easier. I will trust my gut about you in these times and treat you as the enemy you are.
I find most people are stripped of the “right to react in kind” when I can distance myself from emotionally charged language, even if the situation is emotionally charged. It takes a lot of the strength I can muster to tame my inner beast, sometimes, but it’s easier with practice.
There’s some southern US white lawyer on YT and I’m serious when I say his name is Jefferson something, that has a regular YT on dealing with people who would bait you with emotionally charged language. I don’t recall his last name, or the name of his channel, because he’s not popped up in some while, but he did make good sense and gave me some useful tips.
Privately, if there is such a thing anymore, I guess do what you want. I’m reminded of a literary child vagabond who was adopted by a wealthy lady after his abusive father died, saying he was miserable, because he couldn’t cuss, spit, scratch, or smoke and had to slip up to the attic regularly to do these things (he eventually ran away). But it does get easier with practice.
I dont think I understand what you are trying to say.
What I did catch is “it gets better with practice” which in my mind translates to “you get used to the taste of boot”. Most people trying to police language are privileged whiteys and can go right back to their university.
What I learned with 40 years of practice is that death threats and physical violence work very well if someone is trying to fuck you over repeatedly. Sabotaging or burning down their house also works well for some, or so I heard.
Ah perhaps I misunderstood your post. I do think our replies can be tailored as circumstances change. But I’ve learned to temper myself and enjoy the bewilderment of a conversationally disarmed opponent.
Additionally, I find this https://lemmygrad.ml/post/9164077 to have application far beyond literal warfare.
Yeah, I think we’re talking about wildly different situations. My question was “how to convey emotional violence and shut up privileged people without resorting to class divisionism through misogynism or ableism?” I have gone through the whole “keep cool when others heat up” phase some 20 yrs ago and it does have its uses. What I’m looking for now is emotional warfare if you will.
Perhaps. Perhaps we’re at different places along the road we share, but we can still walk each other home.