I think they’re trying to say that he doesn’t even feel like her backup, he’s her backup x times removed. Which kinda undercuts his point a bit, but does set the stage for a complete removal of attraction and the very particular manic ending they wrote for their story
The toxicity is the weird incel framing around the whole thing. It leans heavily into incel tropes about how women sleep around with physically attractive asshole men when younger and then look for a more stable “nice guy” men when older. The trope is that women will reproduce with asshole gym bro types and then seek relationships with nerds to obtain resources to raise the children they’ve given birth to. It’s the classic cuckhold meme.
The “backup option” part is the toxic thing. It frames women as farm animals looking for a mate, rather than actual complex human beings with different desires and changing personalities through their whole lives. Aka, just like men. People change, and they want different things at different points in their life.
It’s not that the woman in the story fucked a bunch of guys and then, as a last resort, settled for OP. I mean, just think of how absurd that idea is. It is literally not possible to run out of people to sleep with. They don’t think OP is beneath them and have always felt that way, only settling for them now. Why would she need to? There’s no shortage of other men out there if she thinks OP is beneath her.
Rather, people just want different things at different points in their lives. OP didn’t tick that box years earlier, but now maybe he does. She wasn’t attracted to him then, but she is now. The heart just works that way sometimes. There’s no need to add a bunch of incel bullshit to what is easily explainable as the complexities of human emotion.
The reason this is so toxic is that it’s applying this weird bizarre manipulative behavior to the woman in the story - aka parroting incel themes. It accuses her of this deliberate years-long plot, working through a long list of men she finds superior until finally settling for OP. This isn’t how human beings actually behave. Instead, she just happened to not be attracted to OP before, but happens to be now. You don’t need to go into it any deeper than that. People are complex and their hearts change.
This “backup option” framing is just really toxic and creepy.
Nothing at all, but that last line, “When is my turn to have fun?” Is a bit transactional, like there’s an expectation and that’s the problematic part.
you can have expectations from relationships. you don’t have to, and not every relationship has them, but it’s perfectly fine to have them, as long as the other person’s fine with that.
Anon grows and changes in a 5 year span, and his romantic interests change.
Girls opinion on romance is different in 5 years.
“I don’t want to be the backup.”
Men can grow and change over 5 years. Women? Nah. She just wanted to fuck around and now she’s settling.
This train of thought is some terminally online shit. Then again, complaining that green text is some terminally online shit is insane in its own account.
Why are you being charitable to a greentext poster lmfao. It’s like when the skinhead starts saying dogwhistles and someone is like “well maybe he doesn’t know it’s a dog whistle”.
Idk man, maybe you’ve not been exposed to enough 4chan.
i’m just tired of internet toxicity tbh. Not as in “Oh no, they laugh about Kirk’s assasination”, mind you, that shit is actually hillarious, neither i care about anyone’s political oriantation as long as they’re a decent human being. I’m talking about this unprompted toxic bullshit like “oh, they’re using this site, they must be a jerk!”. That’s literally the same rhetoric that politicians use to create “us vs them” narrative, except they do it on another basis like nationality or whatever.
Did your day go so wrong that you need to let it all out somehow, but this is the only way you found? Genuinely asking btw
Let’s not act like 4chan has ever been anything but a infamous shithole that attracts shitheads. It has the worst possible reputation: it doesn’t attract good people. Sorry. You sound delightful, tho, all your pettiness and pretentiousness aside.
so? Is this enough of a reason to spread it further? “Shitheads” aren’t exclusive to 4chan, and you’re microscopically close to being the live demonstration of this fect.
I asked you if anything is wrong, because unlike you i don’t want to fall into attribution bias and call someone a bad person simply because they behave like a jerk, everyone has bad days. Yet, you insist on keeying your way of thought, which is actually shitty and loathsome.
I hope you exert this behaviour because you’re just a spoiled edgy child, and not because you’re so utterly fucked up by life that you actually became this hateful and bitter.
I’m not defending anyone. This story being made up is entirely possible. What I’m bothered by, and what i don’t want to let slide is the fact that people just assume malice from a person simply because they made a post on a certain website and not the on the other one around. It’s a scary tendency that, if extrapolated, makes internet into a place full of tribalism and hostility.
Also, you gotta explain to me, how the post is an example of toxic masculinity, and exactly what archetype do i defend from your point of view.
“She fucked too many guys” as if this is a competition or there is an amount of guys that is ok and a threshold where it is not ok. Like she owes him not to have sex at all somehow. Most of the rest sounds sane but just throwing that in out of nowhere shows this guy’s toxic masculinity.
“She fucked so many guys”
Uh…okay?
I think they’re trying to say that he doesn’t even feel like her backup, he’s her backup x times removed. Which kinda undercuts his point a bit, but does set the stage for a complete removal of attraction and the very particular manic ending they wrote for their story
There’s something insulting about being the one she wants to settle down with after a bunch of flings etc.
When’s my turn to have fun?
Who was stopping you?
Nobody wanted to have fun with me.
Then go to a tabletop game shop and have fun on D&D night, or Warhammer! Lots of fun there
Do you feel like you were owed “fun” from other people?
They were stopping themselves
It be true, I do stop myself
I hope some day you can reflect on this statement and realise the toxicity behind it.
Edit: I guess the downvoters don’t like to be called out?
What’s toxic about wanting better than being the backup option?
The toxicity is the weird incel framing around the whole thing. It leans heavily into incel tropes about how women sleep around with physically attractive asshole men when younger and then look for a more stable “nice guy” men when older. The trope is that women will reproduce with asshole gym bro types and then seek relationships with nerds to obtain resources to raise the children they’ve given birth to. It’s the classic cuckhold meme.
The “backup option” part is the toxic thing. It frames women as farm animals looking for a mate, rather than actual complex human beings with different desires and changing personalities through their whole lives. Aka, just like men. People change, and they want different things at different points in their life.
It’s not that the woman in the story fucked a bunch of guys and then, as a last resort, settled for OP. I mean, just think of how absurd that idea is. It is literally not possible to run out of people to sleep with. They don’t think OP is beneath them and have always felt that way, only settling for them now. Why would she need to? There’s no shortage of other men out there if she thinks OP is beneath her.
Rather, people just want different things at different points in their lives. OP didn’t tick that box years earlier, but now maybe he does. She wasn’t attracted to him then, but she is now. The heart just works that way sometimes. There’s no need to add a bunch of incel bullshit to what is easily explainable as the complexities of human emotion.
The reason this is so toxic is that it’s applying this weird bizarre manipulative behavior to the woman in the story - aka parroting incel themes. It accuses her of this deliberate years-long plot, working through a long list of men she finds superior until finally settling for OP. This isn’t how human beings actually behave. Instead, she just happened to not be attracted to OP before, but happens to be now. You don’t need to go into it any deeper than that. People are complex and their hearts change.
This “backup option” framing is just really toxic and creepy.
Nothing at all, but that last line, “When is my turn to have fun?” Is a bit transactional, like there’s an expectation and that’s the problematic part.
you can have expectations from relationships. you don’t have to, and not every relationship has them, but it’s perfectly fine to have them, as long as the other person’s fine with that.
From yes. Of no.
Exactly, but also immediately assuming you’d be the “backup” on this and it of course cannot be genuine love.
Men can grow and change over 5 years. Women? Nah. She just wanted to fuck around and now she’s settling.
This train of thought is some terminally online shit. Then again, complaining that green text is some terminally online shit is insane in its own account.
And that was added by ilovethebomb
I think the toxic part is what was added by ilovethebomb. They never asked this and seemed to have genuinely moved on.
Why are you being charitable to a greentext poster lmfao. It’s like when the skinhead starts saying dogwhistles and someone is like “well maybe he doesn’t know it’s a dog whistle”.
Idk man, maybe you’ve not been exposed to enough 4chan.
sure, let’s just assume malice or ill intent whenever possible, and forget about any empathy or sympathy.
Bro. We are talking about a 4chan greentext poster. What more do you want me to fucking say? Are you joking?
i’m just tired of internet toxicity tbh. Not as in “Oh no, they laugh about Kirk’s assasination”, mind you, that shit is actually hillarious, neither i care about anyone’s political oriantation as long as they’re a decent human being. I’m talking about this unprompted toxic bullshit like “oh, they’re using this site, they must be a jerk!”. That’s literally the same rhetoric that politicians use to create “us vs them” narrative, except they do it on another basis like nationality or whatever.
Did your day go so wrong that you need to let it all out somehow, but this is the only way you found? Genuinely asking btw
btw, just so you know, thanks to some particularily heated instances over here, i’ve seen people with opinion just like yours but about the fediverse.
Let’s not act like 4chan has ever been anything but a infamous shithole that attracts shitheads. It has the worst possible reputation: it doesn’t attract good people. Sorry. You sound delightful, tho, all your pettiness and pretentiousness aside.
so? Is this enough of a reason to spread it further? “Shitheads” aren’t exclusive to 4chan, and you’re microscopically close to being the live demonstration of this fect.
I asked you if anything is wrong, because unlike you i don’t want to fall into attribution bias and call someone a bad person simply because they behave like a jerk, everyone has bad days. Yet, you insist on keeying your way of thought, which is actually shitty and loathsome.
I hope you exert this behaviour because you’re just a spoiled edgy child, and not because you’re so utterly fucked up by life that you actually became this hateful and bitter.
please don’t be like this and take care <3
You tired of internet toxicity yet defend the archetype of toxic masculinity with this greentext. Is everyone upvoting this a Tate fan?
I’m not defending anyone. This story being made up is entirely possible. What I’m bothered by, and what i don’t want to let slide is the fact that people just assume malice from a person simply because they made a post on a certain website and not the on the other one around. It’s a scary tendency that, if extrapolated, makes internet into a place full of tribalism and hostility.
Also, you gotta explain to me, how the post is an example of toxic masculinity, and exactly what archetype do i defend from your point of view.
“She fucked too many guys” as if this is a competition or there is an amount of guys that is ok and a threshold where it is not ok. Like she owes him not to have sex at all somehow. Most of the rest sounds sane but just throwing that in out of nowhere shows this guy’s toxic masculinity.
Incredibly toxic post btw.
Or maybe he has experienced enough 4chan to the point where he realises those hidden meanings.
??? 😭 we just out here defending incel-adjacent language being used on 4chan?
This video I feel explains why
https://youtu.be/oQDTrxxFLyA
That’s how you know its full of incel energy.
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