I don’t mean this is in a bad way, but they are sort of right on the last part. Apologies aren’t useless though. They are very needed to maintain healthy relationships between people, be they romantic or business or otherwise.
But I do also get very tired very quickly, if someone is over-apologizing or just constantly doing it. Either there’s a reason for the apology and they constantly fuck up or do something wrong, at least in their own opinion enough to warrant the apology. or they keep saying it where they need not do so which is just frustrating and I have also associated it with lack of confidence.
Either way, I can understand your ex, and have felt the exact way they did, and I wanted to just stop by and say that it is not necessarily intended as an insult or as a criticism or whatever, just that they really could not deal with it. I had no hard feelings or anything bad to say about the people I’ve met like this, always apologizing, it’s simply a very human incompatibility.
There are people who don’t perceive the apologies as tiring or annoying or as lack of confidence or whatever. Those people will love you for it. But the people who don’t, aren’t necessarily intending to signal or say it’s bad, it might just be that it’s incompatible with them. That’s how I’ve explained it or how I feel it anyway, but I found myself relating to your ex so thought I’d throw in an anecdote from the other side.
What she unironically meant is that you should never, ever apologize even if you realize you fucked up and just double down endlessly. But nice that you assumed the worst possible scenario about me as a person with no context whatsoever, really appreciate that.
Small anecdote to demonstrate: after we broke up, she went out with her best friend to party and they met some dude that they invited to an after-party at my ex’s place. Best friend hooked up with him and that made my ex so mad that she called the police on both of them (it was during covid - they didn’t practice social distancing, their body their choice, you know). She never apologized for it and it destroyed their friendship for a while. They apparently hang with each other again now, so I dunno what happened. They are both crazy, so birds of a feather I guess.
I don’t mean this is in a bad way, but they are sort of right on the last part. Apologies aren’t useless though. They are very needed to maintain healthy relationships between people, be they romantic or business or otherwise.
But I do also get very tired very quickly, if someone is over-apologizing or just constantly doing it. Either there’s a reason for the apology and they constantly fuck up or do something wrong, at least in their own opinion enough to warrant the apology. or they keep saying it where they need not do so which is just frustrating and I have also associated it with lack of confidence.
Either way, I can understand your ex, and have felt the exact way they did, and I wanted to just stop by and say that it is not necessarily intended as an insult or as a criticism or whatever, just that they really could not deal with it. I had no hard feelings or anything bad to say about the people I’ve met like this, always apologizing, it’s simply a very human incompatibility.
There are people who don’t perceive the apologies as tiring or annoying or as lack of confidence or whatever. Those people will love you for it. But the people who don’t, aren’t necessarily intending to signal or say it’s bad, it might just be that it’s incompatible with them. That’s how I’ve explained it or how I feel it anyway, but I found myself relating to your ex so thought I’d throw in an anecdote from the other side.
What she unironically meant is that you should never, ever apologize even if you realize you fucked up and just double down endlessly. But nice that you assumed the worst possible scenario about me as a person with no context whatsoever, really appreciate that.
Small anecdote to demonstrate: after we broke up, she went out with her best friend to party and they met some dude that they invited to an after-party at my ex’s place. Best friend hooked up with him and that made my ex so mad that she called the police on both of them (it was during covid - they didn’t practice social distancing, their body their choice, you know). She never apologized for it and it destroyed their friendship for a while. They apparently hang with each other again now, so I dunno what happened. They are both crazy, so birds of a feather I guess.