Accurate. So many trans people post selfies and I can’t tell that they aren’t cis.
Ooooh. I thought it was about being pregnant at first.
Can you explain how?
Yes
i knew a boy in elementary school and middle grade. We went to a small private school, so we knew each other and our families knew each other. Fast forward 30 years and I’m working at this job, helping this lady with the printer. She asked me if I went to that school. I was shocked, it’s not something just anyone would know of. I couldn’t tell if I knew her from then She asked if I remembered Greg. Oh yeah!
ohh yeah… she was clearly a woman now but the moment I realized who they were, I couldn’t help but see that look I remembered from so long ago
Just cleaning up people who know her dead name.
Going down the list and crossing off names… One way or another
Lol I have similar story. Met someone from my university course 10 yrs ago recently at sports hobby group. Asked if he took this course at the university.
He was shocked and asked: “wtf how did u know?” “I was there too” “But I don’t know (or recognize) u”
Guess I pass as my gender? It gave me euphoria haha. I didn’t tell him my deadname tho
Can I ask a genuine question with no malice intended so please don’t take it the wrong way?
…Why is one’s “deadname” such a taboo subject?
I mean I’m a cis white bloke so I don’t get a say in anything but to me it’s just what you used to be called but you’re not anymore, and that’s great. But a lot of people treat it like this evil, secret backstory nobody is to know about? Why is it so “bad”?
Sorry if this is insensitive…
A lot of folk who go to the trouble of changing their first name, be they trans, cis or otherwise, likely have negativity attached to their original name from which they would like to move on.
Anyone who knew me by my old name and hasn’t been updated of my new name, doesn’t know my new name for a good reason. So on the very rare occasion I get deadnamed these days, it absolutely scares the hell out of me.
I’m nb and my name change wasn’t specifically for gendered reasons, but for those whose was, being purposefully deadnamed adds a whole new level of hate crime to the situation and puts them at risk of violence from anyone unhinged enough who overhears.
Good question. This is my personal view so it might not represent general opinion.
I think it depends on whether that was intentional or not. Just like misgendereing, someone referring me by my deadname isn’t a big deal if it was a mistake. It would take some time to associate me with my chosen name so it’s understandable.
However, if it was intentional (or more likely, seems like intentional), that person is not acknowledging my new gender and chosen name, and that is disrespectful or even rude.
I’m trying think of relatable experience for cis folks. Say u r in 20s and some extended family member calls u by ur old nickname when u were really young. Probably there’s no bad intention in this case, but u might get this uncomfortable feeling that
‘that (nickname) does not describe me any more. I’ve grown out of that (nickname)’
That emotion could be similar to what deadnaming feels like for trans folks. Of course u have to amplify that negative emotion by like 1000x.
I would also add just calling people by their name instead of their preference to your nickname example. Like, if your name is Matt but somebody only calls you Matthew and refuses to use Matt even after you ask them to. Matthew may legally be your name, but there’s only one reason why somebody would do that.
My dad actually has a similar situation in that his first name can be turned into two different nicknames easily, so he can immediately tell how well somebody knows him or cares by which name they call him.
This is so fucking stupid but there’s a podcast called Guys: A Podcast About Guys and one of the hosts used to go by Quibber until he was like, 27 and decided he should go by his real name, and it took convincing to get several people in his life to stop.
this reminds me of a story that happened to me, but maybe don’t read it, because it might give you a negative new perspective on your experience and i wouldn’t want that.
my own little story
so during my last year at university, i took this small course, with only like 10 other students. at that point i was already out and dressed quite slutty.
fast forward half a year, i’m starting at my first job and one of the coworkers asked me if i recognized them. i had no idea who they were altho their name seemed vaguely familiar, from the names listed in the zoom calls of my online lectures.
apparently we studied the same thing in university for 3 years and they even sat right in front of me during that one small course for half a year and i just didn’t remember them at all, but apparentlty they knew who i was? they didn’t transition or anything, i just didn’t care enough to remember i suppose.
I aspire to pass this well someday lol
i wan… bt sadli… dun hav ;(
Looks interesting, which anime is this this screenshot taken from?
Sorry, just saved this meme from before
I’m pretty sure it’s from Ponyo. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ponyo
it cant be yet, but thank u 💖
weirdly enough getting morning sick four months into hrt was oddly euphoric
