I am seeing a lot of pushback–presumably from feminists–towards men that are expressing their experiences.
Guys it’s okay to cry.
It’s ok to have emotions.
It’s ok to not be ok.
…But that has not been my experience.
Should it be? Yes, absolutely. But is it now? No. And unfortunately, in my experience, the women that are saying such things–almost always self-identifying feminists–are also often then ones that are unaccepting of any display of emotion in men that aren’t coming from a place of strength. Men are e.g., expected to shrug off grief and depression and go back to work the day after a funeral. I shan’t be too specific for risk of doxxing myself, but I’ve noted that I’m expected to muscle through physical pain and mental exhaustion, while none of my partners–either current or former–will hold themselves to the same standard that I am held to by them.
I cynically think that many self-identifying feminists don’t want to abolish patriarchy, they just want to be able to benefit from it the same way that men do, without paying any of the costs for that benefit that men shoulder.
I’ve had similar experiences and when I’ve shared this previously all the response I got was “well date better people” as if I have a line of women waiting for their chance with me to select from.
I have made quite different experiences, the people I felt safest to open were feminists.
Edit: I am sorry for your experience and didn’t wanted to downplay it. However, as there are many answers in a similar direction as yours, i wanted to give an alternative experience.
Yes obviously. Actually, the people i was thinking about, were basically advocating for a fair society where every person can live ther own way. As women are currently structurally at disadvantage, this leads them to feminism.
I’m genuinely glad that you’ve had good experiences. It’s possible that my age–I’m pretty sure I’m 20+ years older than the average Lemmy user–has made a difference in the interactions I’ve had. It’s also possible that being neurodivergent has influenced my experiences. I truly don’t know; I’ve only got a single test subject, n=1.
I am seeing a lot of pushback–presumably from feminists–towards men that are expressing their experiences.
…But that has not been my experience.
Should it be? Yes, absolutely. But is it now? No. And unfortunately, in my experience, the women that are saying such things–almost always self-identifying feminists–are also often then ones that are unaccepting of any display of emotion in men that aren’t coming from a place of strength. Men are e.g., expected to shrug off grief and depression and go back to work the day after a funeral. I shan’t be too specific for risk of doxxing myself, but I’ve noted that I’m expected to muscle through physical pain and mental exhaustion, while none of my partners–either current or former–will hold themselves to the same standard that I am held to by them.
I cynically think that many self-identifying feminists don’t want to abolish patriarchy, they just want to be able to benefit from it the same way that men do, without paying any of the costs for that benefit that men shoulder.
100% agree. and most, if not all, don’t realize the burdens men shoulder.
I’ve had similar experiences and when I’ve shared this previously all the response I got was “well date better people” as if I have a line of women waiting for their chance with me to select from.
I have made quite different experiences, the people I felt safest to open were feminists.
Edit: I am sorry for your experience and didn’t wanted to downplay it. However, as there are many answers in a similar direction as yours, i wanted to give an alternative experience.
I guess it depends on if they’re actual feminists or misandrists parroting the words and rhetoric. I imagine a terf for example wouldn’t be great
Yes obviously. Actually, the people i was thinking about, were basically advocating for a fair society where every person can live ther own way. As women are currently structurally at disadvantage, this leads them to feminism.
No true Scotsman
I’m genuinely glad that you’ve had good experiences. It’s possible that my age–I’m pretty sure I’m 20+ years older than the average Lemmy user–has made a difference in the interactions I’ve had. It’s also possible that being neurodivergent has influenced my experiences. I truly don’t know; I’ve only got a single test subject, n=1.