i’m m45. My current wife and i decided to separate a few weeks ago - we have simply drifted apart, no hard feelings, it can happen over 15 years which weren’t easy because of illness. We currently still share the home and will probably over the next few months - She said she could never make me leave the flat until i have a safe and stable home for myself.

Me and my siblings relationship has been devastated by the alcoholism of my dad and the uncaringness of my mom, grandparents are dead except the worst of the 4, a venom-spitting vindictive bitch; my aunts - well one is a nazi, the other one tramples over your personal borders even if told not to, so i’m NC with both. My first friend circle in my 20s was consumed by drugs, the second by separation from my ex, and that will probably happen now again.

I have AVPD (Avoidant/self-insecure personality disorder, meaning i have low self esteem, low tolerance for making mistakes, a lot of fear to do new things, and cope by avoiding both) and social anxiety (which is much better now than a few years ago thanks to a lot of therapy, which also helped with my depression, but it’s not gone)

So, i fear to become completely alone now, for the first time in my life. I’m on disability, so at least i have a stable if low income, and 2 times a week i am in a center for group therapy settings, which means i will at least talk to someone once in a while, but i fear that i might become a crazy cat man.