It is a real phobia; irrational, yes, but no less real. I know more than one person that reacts to clowns the way others might react to heights and spiders.
What confuses me about phobias is people who have them often do nothing about it. Fear fades when we choose to understand rather than avoid. I used to be terrified of spiders, until I took the time to learn about them, and in learning my fear turned into wonder. They are fascinating animals and deserve none of the hate they receive. Same for clowns, I guess…
Fear fades when we choose to understand rather than avoid
No, this is only your personal experience. I have ophidiophobia and I’ve watched my fair share of snake documentaries and movies and very much know how these animals work inside and out because they’re fascinating, but I still have nightmares, jumps cares, and panic.
It never goes away from understanding because they’re irrational by their very nature. What sets it off for me are the silhouettes, the movement, the patterns, and the textures. It’s not even the potential danger of dying from internal bleeding or being constricted to death.
What you’re describing is a form of mild exposure therapy that worked for you. For severe forms like mine I’d need gradual exposure for months with a specialist to even gather the courage to boop a garter snake with one finger as I sweat profusely and cry.
I’ve tried doing it myself to be able to tolerate small images, and even if I make progress, sometimes it feels like I slide back to where I was. It’s a huge mental toll to have to expose myself constantly just to find images tolerable, so I know can’t do it alone like you did. I’ve tried it.
Yes, therapy is possible, but your hill is an Everest to me and I wish more people who downplay it and try to rationalize it would understand that.
I didn’t mean to sound like I was downplaying your fears; I know phobia is an intrinsic, irresistible emotional force. I do appreciate you sharing your perspective. Sometimes I need to be reminded that I’m a weird outlier.
Oh yeah, a few times at various places, actually. Most notably:
One time at a friend’s brother’s house who had a huge anaconda in his room next to me that I was unaware of. The local zoo had this gigantic anaconda resting against the glass that still gives me shivers but that I stared at in admiration and horror nonetheless. One time at a Midwestern mall where they had a random yellow anaconda on display at kid’s eye-level along with a life-like one hanging from the ceiling (embarrassing story that one). One time at Disneyland at the jungle themed restaurant sitting almost right under a fake one that I think moved and freaked me tf out. One time I was walking on campus and someone had a ball python wrapped around their hands just casually strolling by that I didn’t even have time to react to before he was gone but left me with a figurative eye twitch. One time as a kid my neighbors were playing with a decapitated one out on the street threatening to throw it at people including me. One time my cousin chased me around with a snake skin belt until I got fed up and tired that I grabbed it and beat the shit out of him with it somehow in a furious rage. One time I was in the mountains and a huge black snake scurried away from me from a foot away right before I could stepped on it. And many other times. I remember feeling quite exhausted every time. Shit’s not fun.
E: To clarify, when I mean huge I mean they were several meters long and thicker than a grown man’s thigh. Especially the one at the zoo, holy shit. It was probably as long as a city bus.
Phobias are irrational, that’s in the very definition.
OK y’all, this is my peeve so I’ll put it out there.
Being scared of a thing is NOT a phobia. I’ve only met one arachnophobe in my life, that I know of. She never expressed any particular fears of spiders, not out loud. But much of her behavior over the 2-years we dated suddenly made sense when I realized she was constantly looking for spiders. That’s a whole level worse than being afraid when you see one.
Anyway, I did the exposure thing with spiders as you did. Not near so bad now! One time I ended up with a kayak full of banana spiders, started chucking them out with my bare hands. Still, if I caught one in the face I’d dance like a panicked toddler!
It is a real phobia; irrational, yes, but no less real. I know more than one person that reacts to clowns the way others might react to heights and spiders.
What confuses me about phobias is people who have them often do nothing about it. Fear fades when we choose to understand rather than avoid. I used to be terrified of spiders, until I took the time to learn about them, and in learning my fear turned into wonder. They are fascinating animals and deserve none of the hate they receive. Same for clowns, I guess…
No, this is only your personal experience. I have ophidiophobia and I’ve watched my fair share of snake documentaries and movies and very much know how these animals work inside and out because they’re fascinating, but I still have nightmares, jumps cares, and panic.
It never goes away from understanding because they’re irrational by their very nature. What sets it off for me are the silhouettes, the movement, the patterns, and the textures. It’s not even the potential danger of dying from internal bleeding or being constricted to death.
What you’re describing is a form of mild exposure therapy that worked for you. For severe forms like mine I’d need gradual exposure for months with a specialist to even gather the courage to boop a garter snake with one finger as I sweat profusely and cry.
I’ve tried doing it myself to be able to tolerate small images, and even if I make progress, sometimes it feels like I slide back to where I was. It’s a huge mental toll to have to expose myself constantly just to find images tolerable, so I know can’t do it alone like you did. I’ve tried it.
Yes, therapy is possible, but your hill is an Everest to me and I wish more people who downplay it and try to rationalize it would understand that.
I didn’t mean to sound like I was downplaying your fears; I know phobia is an intrinsic, irresistible emotional force. I do appreciate you sharing your perspective. Sometimes I need to be reminded that I’m a weird outlier.
“Have you tried just not being
sadscared?”Have you tried actually being next to one?
Documentaries can only get you so far.
Oh yeah, a few times at various places, actually. Most notably:
One time at a friend’s brother’s house who had a huge anaconda in his room next to me that I was unaware of. The local zoo had this gigantic anaconda resting against the glass that still gives me shivers but that I stared at in admiration and horror nonetheless. One time at a Midwestern mall where they had a random yellow anaconda on display at kid’s eye-level along with a life-like one hanging from the ceiling (embarrassing story that one). One time at Disneyland at the jungle themed restaurant sitting almost right under a fake one that I think moved and freaked me tf out. One time I was walking on campus and someone had a ball python wrapped around their hands just casually strolling by that I didn’t even have time to react to before he was gone but left me with a figurative eye twitch. One time as a kid my neighbors were playing with a decapitated one out on the street threatening to throw it at people including me. One time my cousin chased me around with a snake skin belt until I got fed up and tired that I grabbed it and beat the shit out of him with it somehow in a furious rage. One time I was in the mountains and a huge black snake scurried away from me from a foot away right before I could stepped on it. And many other times. I remember feeling quite exhausted every time. Shit’s not fun.
E: To clarify, when I mean huge I mean they were several meters long and thicker than a grown man’s thigh. Especially the one at the zoo, holy shit. It was probably as long as a city bus.
Phobias are irrational, that’s in the very definition.
OK y’all, this is my peeve so I’ll put it out there.
Being scared of a thing is NOT a phobia. I’ve only met one arachnophobe in my life, that I know of. She never expressed any particular fears of spiders, not out loud. But much of her behavior over the 2-years we dated suddenly made sense when I realized she was constantly looking for spiders. That’s a whole level worse than being afraid when you see one.
Anyway, I did the exposure thing with spiders as you did. Not near so bad now! One time I ended up with a kayak full of banana spiders, started chucking them out with my bare hands. Still, if I caught one in the face I’d dance like a panicked toddler!