cross-posted from: https://reddthat.com/post/46807163

Since this post posted in /c/womensstuff, a community that prohibits male participation, showed up on the front page of All I’m cross-posting it to a space where men can chime in and answer/discuss it freely.

  • u/lukmly013 💾 (lemmy.sdf.org)@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
    161·
    3 days ago

    Sort of I do. I really suck at real-time communication. I usually can’t even respond to “Hi”, there’s not enough time for me. “What? Was that said to me? Probably. I should reply. What exactly? Hello? Hi? That’s shorter, but repetitive. How loud? Just say something. (Output) Hi. (End of output) Did they hear me? That was too quiet, right? Should I try again? What if they did hear me? FUCK! Maybe next time.”

    Same goes for when and how to say thanks and sorry. I don’t have half an hour to think it out. I need text.

    Other things are complicated too, and I often say things that get misunderstood or aren’t appropriate on second thought, or I interrupt someone because I thought they were finished, or I am probably not heard, but repeating something for 4th time is awkward because what if it was, but it just wasn’t ACKed. But usually that doesn’t happen, as I can’t manage to time my talking at all.

    So in a sort of way, yes.

    If not starting some uncomfortable talks is the point, then that’s rather just a problem with few specific coworkers.

    • Hobo@lemmy.worldEnglish
      161·
      3 days ago

      This has nothing to do with you being white and everything to do with some other personal issue. It sounds like self esteem/self confidence, but I’m no brain scientist. Thinking this has something to do with the color of your skin will surely lead down a dark path though. Maybe go see a speech therapist or the like. They might actually be able to help you with some of those perceived issues.

        • Hobo@lemmy.worldEnglish
          5·
          2 days ago

          Ah gotcha. Yeah I certainly saw some early red flags. That makes me feel a little better! Must be something that really bugs you if that’s what you focused on in the post. Hope you work through it or accept it as a personal trait. Good luck out there!

        • samus12345@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
          3·
          2 days ago

          Sounds like a neurodivergent person having to mask when dealing with neurotypicals. Masking is a kind of walking on eggshells.